Christmas time

It was a great Christmas! It just went too fast. I picked up 5 shifts and worked my regular 3. I shouldn't have picked up so much. I regret that. But the time and a half for working boxing day was nice. It will help us as we save up for an RV trip this summer. Camellia and Doug are going to rent Doug's brothers RV and we will share the cost and caravan with them in our Van. I wish my brother Nathan would go but he said no already. He is in a dark place it seems. It is hard and makes my anxiety thrive.

Friday December 1st, our ward did the Champion Nativity and it was really good. Not cold like last year. The town does hot chocolate, hot dogs and hay rides and it makes for a fun evening. Chris was a Wiseman, Caeleb was a Wiseman helper, and Mary, Elva and I were Angel's. 

Mom got us a tree from the scouts in Nanton and we decorated it after I worked on Sunday Dec 3rd. We watched Polar express as per tradition. It makes for a magical evening.

The kids school concert was on the 20th. I had to push hard to get it off work. It is hard not having Chris here to help with that. It was a simple hour long program, the junior high did some songs for band (only 11 of them in the band), the little kids sang songs and Elvas grade 5/6 class did a fun play about North Poles got talent. It was the best performance Champion has had yet.

Our ward party was the Friday before Christmas was beautiful complete with the usual delicious roast beef dinner. I was tired as I had short shifted the night before (evening Thursday to day on Friday). Camellia and Dougs family came. It was a good time. 

I worked the Saturday and Christmas eve Sunday was spent going to church for an hour and then preparing and eating a delicious Turkey dinner with my parents, Nathan and my friends Lindsey and Meike. We watched some of its a wonderful life and all of Mr. Krueger Christmas. And Chris read the Nativity story.

The kids were in bed by 8:30 ish. I read them The Night before Christmas as they went to bed. The oldest 3 slept in Elvas room. 

They were up by 6:00 and then down to the living room at 7:00 for stockings. We had cracked wheat (boiled wheat) for breakfast and then we helped Dad over and Mom and Nathan came and we opened gifts. Mary got a hamster that she named Peanut. Nathan kept her in his room for the week before Christmas. Elva got some horse stuff (helmet and boots from Gainors) and a Tamagotchi pet. Caeleb got some boared games. Selman got lego and a Nintendo switch game and Lizzy got an Elsa dress and Barbies. And the kids got a mini fooseball/air hockey/pool table which they love. Chris got a camera. That was a big spend. It is good that he is working.

We had a lazy Christmas day, I worked Boxing day. We spent some days watching Lord of the Rings, playing board games, eating food. We spent a night at a Lethbridge Hotel with Mom and Dad and the Nelsons, enjoying swimming, bowling and eating at Tony Romas. We missed Nathan for that. And we had sister Burbank over on New Years eve after I worked. We played a game with her and the kids did musical chairs which was a blast. We had appetizers and we watched the movie New Years Eve. The 2 Littles were asleep by 9:00 and Mary fell asleep on the couch by 10:00. But the rest of us made it till midnight.

I worked New Years Day evening and was able to do Karaoke with many of the patients which was blast for them and I and was just what was needed to boast the moral on our unit (including mine). 

One of my New Years goals was to not watch certain youtube videos (Evangelicals bashing other belief systems). It has caused alot of distress for me and there is no need for it. They can believe I am going to Hell for my beliefs, but in doing so, they will also need to believe most of mankind, including the Muslims being killed in Gaza these days and the Jews of the Holocaust, are going to Hell too. It doesn't look good on them for believing that. In fact, it appears selfish and wrong. If I am going to Hell, for having incorrect theology (which Evangelicals believe is the one unforgivable sin that Jesus' atonement will not cover), I aim to help those in Hell find faith and hope in a God who I believe is as equally merciful as he is just in a way that makes sense to all people and who will save most people in anyway he can, because of his perfect understanding of them. But they can believe whatever they want, even if it scary, selfish and dangerous. I do like to listen to David Alexander, who seems to understand things like me, BUT, in reality, I am trying to cut as much youtube out of my life as possible. 

I want to be like my cousin Melanie. When we were little, she was the one who hung out with me when she would come to the farm and her sister Maryanne would spend time with Camellia. Melanie is going through a hard time right now with stage 4 cancer. I just listened to a recent interview from her and it felt like I was listening to Grandma Smith (how I imagine Grandma sounding in her younger years). I bet Melanie would be alot like Grandma Smith the older she got. I miss Grandma. I admire Melanie's  courage and her faith and it makes me proud to be a part of the Smith family. I haven't always felt like I fit in with the Smith family. I remember some of my  cousins being mean to Nathan, Camellia and I. We were the misfits. But I always felt loved by Grandma Smith. I pray for Melanie and her family and I always put her name on the Temple role when I go. 

Chris is back to school and I miss him. Grandma Smith only had her husband for 14 years. I can be without Chris for the week days. But I miss him. And I miss him more these last few days as the weather gets to the - 30s and - 40s. 

I am chuckling to myself as I lay next to a napping Lizzy while listening to Mary sing her little heart out to The Greatest Showman. Mary is so serious, with such a sarcastic sense of humor, it is fun to catch these moments. She really likes that movie and we all watched it last night while sleeping in the living room, listening to the cold wind outside.