Reflections on Mothering and Nursing

 

How being a Mother has made me a better Nurse

I love to write! It makes thoughts real to me and I learn more from them when I put them down on paper. While being on Maternity leave this last year, I have given my all to being a mother and caregiver (not only have I cared for my 3 children but I have also been taking care of my friend’s 2 small boys). That being said, I have not focused a lot on my nursing profession except for reading my emails from work, reading some nursing documents on the CARNA website and talking to my manager and co-workers every once in a while. Now as I get ready to go back to work in October, I need to focus on registering for nursing practice once again. In my past two maternity leaves, I completed nursing modules from Grant McEwan University. I have done several modules throughout the years and they have helped my practice in various ways. However, I did not feel right about doing that this year. My husband is going to school and having two parents studying for test deadlines is a lot for my kids to handle. Instead, I focused on being a mom and recording my mothering experiences. And you know something; being a mother has helped me so much in being a competent and confident nurse. Let me explain by talking about different aspects of nursing.

Safety: So picture this. I have gone over to my friend’s house almost every weekday this summer to watch 5 kids (kind of like being in charge of 5 patients at the hospital). The first day I went over there I immediately did my “safety rounds.” Blind strings hanging in the house went up and out of reach. Some sort of baby gate was needed for the stairs. I took down a heavy TV from its table so it could not be a danger. I talked to the kids about safety issues with furniture. Small toys (I have a 10 month old) and magnets were put in a box out of reach. Are there sharp objects within reach of the kids. Other thoughts have gone through my head repeatedly as well. How does my baby do at swallowing? Is she coughing and sputtering as she eats? Do I puree her food or is she ready for minced food? Every day while I work with the kids, I do my frequent rounds. If the older kids are playing in the basement while I make a meal, I listen for them and check on them frequently. Kids may think their parents have eyes in the back of their heads and sometimes I feel like I do. Or at least I have developed a mother’s intuition just like experienced nurses have a nursing intuition. I am always on my guard when it comes to safety. Safe proofing an environment comes quite easy to me since I have had kids. When working on a medical unit, I often deal with patients who need me to watch out for their safety as they are incapable of doing so. I feel confident and competent in this area of nursing!

Knowledge: One of my children has had quite the history of respiratory problems. With one Neonatal ICU admission and two Pediatric ICU admissions (from high flow oxygen to being on a ventilator and oscillator), many ER visits, daily medications, numerous doctor’s appointments, countless nights of worry with many hours of medical research on my part, I would have to say my knowledge in respiratory illness has definitely increased since having kids. And since respiratory illness is a focus for the medical unit I work on, I feel quite at home going to work.

Critical thinking: It could be said that I had a hand in saving my daughters life. At 18 months old, my daughter contacted a serious viral with secondary bacterial infection. She looked quite sick so I took her to Emergency. They sent us home. Her oxygen levels and heartrate were fine but she was working hard to breath and her respiratory rate was climbing. I was monitoring her vital signs at home. I took her back to Emergency. I am so glad I took her back before her heartrate was affected. She was wearing down and most likely would have required substantial resuscitation if I had not had mothers’/nurses’ intuition combined with critical thinking. As it was, she needed full respiratory support for over week. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if I had waited.

Physical strength: You know you are physically strong when you can push a stroller filled with 4 kids around the zoo, up and down hills might I add, for hours at a time. And try hiking in the mountains with a chubby baby on your back, or carrying two crying toddlers at the same time. I now have strong muscles and stamina, thanks to being a mother! And no worries, I rarely have injuries as nursing has taught me how to lift in the correct way. Lifting patients does not scare me as it used too as I am now more confident in my ability to do so.

Emotional strength and stress management: Nursing is definitely a profession that can be emotionally taxing. It is a very stressful job. I have seen many patients go through difficult things. Sickness can bring out the worst in people with no fault of their own. Sometimes patients on my unit will be aggressive or verbally abusive. Even co-workers can wear one down by their words and lack of empathy. I am a sensitive soul when it comes to emotion and stress. However, I believe that being a mother has helped strengthen me in this area. I simply can not let it get to me when my 3-year-old is tired, grumpy, saying mean things or howling at the top of her lungs for what seems like hours. I need to control my emotions. Getting upset at her will not solve the problem. She often does not know what she does. I simply find a solution (often bedtime for a tired little girl) and move on. I don’t let it effect me personally. This is something I am still working on but I am definitely improving in this area. I am learning to handle stress and control my emotions by raising my children. I am learning to let past experiences go and to move on. And I have seen this help me in my nursing career.

Strong stomach: I have a strong stomach! There is no doubt about that. And it has become stronger since having kids. I have changed thousands of diapers. I have developed the endurance to go from sick kid to sick kid for a good portion of the night, changing soiled bedding and clothes, giving baths and snuggles and then waking up a few short hours later to tackle the next day with a positive attitude. I don’t bat an eye when having to change a poopy diaper just a few minutes after changing the last one or needing to plop a little one in the bath as she is covered head to toe with her own feces. I just plug ahead and get the job done!

Time Management - planning, prioritizing: Let me take you through part of a day in my present life. I get up with the kids at around 6:30. We need to get the kids out the door and to my friends house by 7:30 to babysit. Often I get the kids clothes and baby bag ready the night before so that getting the kids ready is easier. Planning ahead certainly makes a difference when it comes getting things done on time. Who do I dress first? I need to change the baby’s diaper first thing or else I can almost be sure that she will soak through and then more time will be spent for cleanup. Prioritizing is the key! Did I put the extra car seats in the car the night before so we can all go to the zoo in the morning? You bet I did! Can we go to the store this afternoon? No, as the kids will nap in the car and then they will go to bed late which will not be good as we have another early start tomorrow. More thinking ahead. Are you getting the just of it? I am strengthening my ability to manage time which is certainly used in a successful nursing career.

Chocking: Yes, my son has chocked on something before. And yes, I did do Abdominal thrusts to get it out. Now I am more confident in my Basic Life Saving skills!

Unconditional love and caring: This has always been my best strength in nursing. This is why I chose to be a nurse in the first place. And my ability to love and care has only increased since I have had my little ones. My children do try my patience at times. Sometimes they are rough to each other and to me or say things that could hurt. But I will never stop loving them and caring for them! Thus it is with my patients. I need to have patience with my patients. And I need to forgive them and be a dedicated friend and caregiver when their illness may bring out a side in them that I do not wish to see. I will always go on loving and caring for those that I serve. It is just who I am!

When I go back to work, I will need to work very hard to strengthen the nursing skills that I have not used in a year. It will be a challenge but I know I can do it! While I will need to work hard on getting back to speed with my career, it is reassuring to know that being a mother has helped me develop more confidence and competence and has overall made me a better nurse! I feel so blessed to be a mother and a nurse.

 

 

Let It Go

We had a great time at the Selman family reunion this weekend. For Show-and-Tell Sarah prepared a video montage:

https://youtu.be/E_AKbvW75Cg

 

You can download a copy from this link.