Bugs! That time of year I guess.

Well, I was 34 weeks on Monday (2 days ago) and I feel like I am practically full term. Baby girl is growing well. On the ultrasound yesterday, she was 5 lbs 2 ounces and I have some really cute 3D pictures of her on my bedside table. Once again I am getting the "want to go home bug" but I will try to wait patiently until they tell me when it is okay to go home. That is not the only bug I have. I ended up getting the stomach flu yesterday (so I feel like I actually belong in the hospital now). I had it two weeks ago. I am sure my roomate had it and then she gave it to me and then I gave it to Chris. Caeleb seems okay so far. I couldn't keep anything down yesterday after breakfast but I am doing so much better today. And so is Chris. I got really dehydrated and started having regular contractions that were uncomfortable and I thought, hey, maybe this is the real thing. But, no. And that is fine too because little girl is better off in right now than out. She still has a bit more baking to do. I hear that the flu is going around and I hope that all my family and friends who have it get better really soon. It is not fun feeling sick!

I have my calendar up and I am counting down the days!!

Date Night!

I went out on a date with Chris last evening. We left at 7:00 pm and we were back by 9:00 so it was short but wonderful. I get to go on passes when I want. Maybe I can have a continuous pass for the next few weeks - do you think? Just kidding. I guess they would notice if I didn't come back to the unit. It is starting to feel like home here. Well, kind of. I am getting to know all the nurses on a first name basis and Dr. Fahey will come in, sit down, and shoot the breeze (what a funny saying) for a while when she is around. For our date, Chris and I went to the High Ball chinese food resturaunt that Grandma and Grandpa Selman used to take my family too. It is just across the street from the hospital. Same people work there too if I remember correctly. It has been about 12 years or so since Grandma and Grandpa took me there. We ate and got some chinese food to take home for Nathan and Caeleb and there is plenty for a few meals for them. Then I showed Chris where Grandma and Grandpa Selman used to live and we drove around St. Andrew Heights for a while. The home has been moved and a new big one built in its place. I miss that home and neighborhood! I remember climbing the tree in the front yard, working with Grandpa is in his backyard green house and sleeping on the hide-a-bed (is that how you spell it?) in the basement. It is only a 3 minute drive from the hospital too. Just across the street as well. I remember walking to the Foothills hospital from that home to visit Grandma when she broke her hip. She was in here for several months and it was this time of year. We then drove to the famous sledding hill in the area and spent some time sledding down the long, semi steep hill. Just kidding, probably not the best idea for me to do that right now. Might be frowned upon by my Doctor and Nurses and baby girl. But we did sit on a bench at the top of the hill and watch other people sled down the hill in the dark. It was a beautiful clear evening with snow on the ground, some Christmas lights already up on some houses and it wasn't that cold outside either. There is a beautiful view of downtown Calgary from that hill as well. We had so much fun. I love our date nights!

A Random Thought of the Day.

I was just thinking of something very random. Actually, I have thought about it quite a bit lately. I have time to think about alot of random stuff lately (and even write it down). Isn't it true in life that the more one has the more one seems to want. I know that this is not always the case, and I do know people that do not think this way at all. In fact, I look up to those people. However, I know that I have been guilty of wanting more and more. Now wanting things can be a good thing. We all have our 'righteous desires'. It can be a great thing to want to progress in life. However, our thinking in life may go something like this...

Childhood days - Life would be better if I was grown up and doing my own thing.

After High School - Life would be better if I move away from home.

Move away from home and work or go to school - Life would be better if I was dating someone.

Dating someone - Life would be better if I was married.

Married - Life would be better if a little one came along.

Baby comes along - Oh, life would be better if we bought a house.

Buy a house - Yah, life would be better if another baby came along.

Family increases in size/life continues - Life would be better if I had another car or was friends with this person, or had a bigger house or new furtniture or if another little one came along, or if this happened or that happened or if I had this or that or went here or there...

Now, like I said before, I think life is about progressing and I guess it is good to want some things. However, I think it is more about how we progress in developing our characters, talents and Christlike qualities. I am not saying that the wants I mentioned before are not good ones but do you think we would be happier if we thought about life a little differently, in this way perhaps...

Childhood days - Life would be better if I could share the fun and experiences I am having at this time with someone else and make a friend. Maybe even make a friend with someone who really needs one right now.

After High School - Life would be better if I could do something with my life, even develop my own talents, that could positively influence the lives of others. I want to make a difference in the lives of others and the world.

Work or go to school - Life would be better if I become friends with and maybe date those I can strengthen and encourage and who will strengthen and encourage me. I can be friends with, be an example too and serve my parents, siblings, co-workers, fellow students, clients and friends.

Get married - Life would be better if my spouse and I sincerely served each other and those around us with a humble and charitable attitute. How can I be a better wife or husband, daughter in law or son in law, sister in law or brother in law, aunt or uncle and most of all, friend?

Baby comes along  - Life would be better if I showed my daughter or son as well as others how important it is to be a devoted and caring wife or husband, aunt or uncle, sister or brother, Mother or Father, in-law, and most of all, friend!

Continue on with life - life would be better if I continued on achieving my goals, most importantly of which are not of obtaining worldy possessions but of serving those around me and obtaining Christlike qualities when doing so.

I have friends, family and aquaintances in all stages of life. Some are younger, others are a little older, some are going to school, others are working, some are married, some are dating, others are not, some have children, some do not, others have grandchildren, some own houses, others are renting, some have travelled the world, others have stayed close to home base, some have money to spend on lots of things, others do not have much at all. I could go on and on.

I love to learn from all these people. We all have something to offer others in life and I know that it is all through service and example. I know it is hard not to want more and more (and I get caught in the more and more cycle - I think I am writing this for me), but haven't we been taught to "find joy in the journey." It is important to find happiness through every phase and experience in life without wanting to move on and have more. If we are to want more and more, let it be more charity, diligence, humility, meekness, patience, sincerity, kindness, perspective, forgiveness, long-suffering, and opportunities to serve others.  Heavenly Father knows exactly what each of us needs, individually, in this life to develop each of these Christlike qualities. He also knows how to connect the different phases and experiences of life together so that we can all fulfill our unique potentials in life.

Well, that was my random thought of the day. I feel like I just wrote a talk for church. But, it is something I can think about and put into action. By doing so, I know I will have more of the eternal type of joy and happiness in this life and beyond. There is nothing better than that!

 

 

And on with the Roller Coaster Ride.

I was discharged from the hospital on Thursday. Ultrasound had looked great and no more symptoms. I thought they were keeping me for good but I was perfectly fine with going home. I was so excited to get home and to sleep in my own bed and relax on my own couch. And now I am back again. I lasted until Sunday evening. But I was 33 weeks yesterday on Monday and I am counting my blessings that baby is safe and I am getting such good care here. I feel very lucky!

I did have fun at home though. It was so nice to cuddle with Caeleb in my Rocker and read him stories. He woke up one night, came to our room and climbed up into our bed. "Cars" he said but it was 5:00 in the morning - too early to watch the movie cars. So I rocked him in my comfy chair and sang to him and soon we both fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8:00. It was fun to play with him during the evenings, with his barn and animals and blocks. Camellia and Sterling came up to visit and she cleaned the house while Sterling and Caeleb played. I have an awesome sister! Sterling is starting to walk and it was fun to see him toddle around, fall down and get right up again. He is actually doing very good at walking. I love it when little kids are learning to walk. He is so cute. We made cookies and ate a yummy casserole that Camellia made and had a movie night after putting the little boys to bed. It was so good to be home. If I am not out of here by next week, hopefully I can have a day pass and Camellia will come up to help decorate for Christmas. I am looking forward to that!

I guess for now it is back to the hospital routine. I am counting down the weeks till little one comes.

Cute Little Caeleb!

Now for some Caeleb time. On Monday afternoon, I was out on pass for a few hours and Caeleb and I spent some of that time playing with his blocks. We would make towers and then watch as they came crashing down. At 7:30 pm it was time for me to get back to the hospital. I told Caeleb that "Mommy needs to leave now," and he said, "No"! He then started to build another block tower so I helped him build it.  After playing for a few more minutes, the tower came crashing to the ground and Caeleb said to me, "Bye Bye." He was telling me that it was okay that I go. No fusses or saddness. I know that sometimes he asks for me but he is such a brave little boy and is so easy going. He just goes with the flow and keeps his positive little attitute.

Chris told me something funny this morning. He has been putting Caeleb to bed on the futon in Caeleb's room because Caeleb does not seem to like his crib these days. Well, Caeleb has never been the greatest sleeper and he usually wakes up at least once during the night time. Last night, Caeleb slept the whole night, with no interruptions, on the futon. Chris woke up this morning and, seeing Caeleb still asleep, decided to hop in the shower. At the end of his shower, he heard a little voice outside the bathroom door. "Knock Knock," Caeleb said, "All done." He was telling Daddy that he was all done his sleep. So cute!!

This reminds me of another night Chris told me about. About a week ago, Chris put Caeleb to sleep on the futon. In the middle of the night, Caeleb woke up like he usually does. This time, however, instead of crying out for one of us to come and get him, he simply got up, walked to our room and climbed into bed with Daddy. He snuggled up with his Daddy and fell back to sleep. I remember when I was little, if I had a nightmare, I would go downstairs and climb into bed with Mommy and Daddy. That always made everything all better.

 

 

I Will Remember!

Today is Remembrance Day. I look forward to this day every year. I was not able to go out to a citywide Remembrance Day service this year like we usually do but I was able to go to the one here in the hospital chapel. There were only about 15 people there but it was just as sincere a service as all others would be. The poem "In Flanders Fields" was read and we listenend to the last post on CD. I also watched some of Ottawa's Remembrance Day service on TV this morning. Chris and Caeleb went to church and I am sure they talked about Remembrance Day in Sacrement meeting.

I love how important this day is in the Selman family. I remember how important it was for Grandpa Selman. When we were younger, we would go to the Jubilee Auditorium some years with Grandpa and Grandma. It was very important to Grandpa that we wear a poppy and sing O Canada. I remember one year seeing Grandpa, all dressed up in his uniform, march with the other Veterans. I remember his huge smile and wave that he gave us when he saw us on the sidelines. I will always remember that! I am so proud of my Grandpa. He sure went through alot in the war and I am not sure I will ever understand exactly how much he experienced. But I have heard the stories and I know that my Grandpa, as well as so many others, are true heros and they need to be remembered. By remembering and learning from the sacrifices of the past, we can provide for a better future for the generations yet to come.

It is a chilly day outside but the sun has been shining a little and Calgary looks very peaceful right now. I am grateful that I can live in a beautiful city, in a beautiful Country that enjoys Freedom. Feedom to be what I want to be, go where I want to go, worship who I want to worship (God) and do what I want to do. I have been so blessed and I am grateful to all who have made sacrifices so that I can have what I have today.

Winter Time Memories on the Farm.

I went out on pass for part of the day yesterday. It was a much needed break from hospital life. A chilly day out but I took deep breaths of that cold air and enjoyed every minute of being outside in the snowy weather. Chris, Caeleb and I went to Once Upon a Child and bought Caeleb some snowpants and we also got some cute little outfits for baby girl. Then we went home, enjoyed a fire in the fire place made by Nathan and watched a claymation show about Timmy the sheep with Caeleb . It is his new favourite. He had a bit of fever this morning so he was my little snuggler and we snuggled the morning away. But we also did some playing in the fort Uncle Nathan made with a huge box we had. He cut out windows and a door and now it is Caeleb's fort.

Now I am back on unit 41. Home sweet home (for now). It was so nice having that fire in the fire place when I was at "real" home today. The smell and crackling sound reminded me alot of cold winter nights on the farm. Alot of winter farm memories have come back to me tonight and I want to share just a few.

I remember roasting hotdogs and marshmallows over the fire in the fireplace. I loved it when we would turn off all the lights and just watch the glow from the fire.

I remember us 3 kids playing fox and geese out in the snow and building snow forts in the drifts.

I remember dad coming in from doing chores with his rosy cheeks and nose, dressed up in his winter overalls. I liked to press my cheek against his. It was so cold.

I remember figure skating lessons and coming home with frozen feet. Mom and Dad were so good to us. They would put heated wheat bags in our beds to heat up our feet.

I remember our skating rink on the old dugout. We used it alot the winter of 1999-2000. In fact our family spent New Years Eve - Y2K -2000 - on the skating rink (wondering if the world was going to come to an end - just kidding).

I remember bundling up and going outside in the cold to do chores such as feeding the cows and horses hay with pitchforks. Oh, I love pitching hay to the cows with a pitch fork. We would also have to crack the ice in the water trough so that the animals could drink.

I remember us 3 kids playing in the dark after school with our snowmobile. We would take turns holding on to the back dragging our feet or holding on to a rope attached to the back trying to ski with mom's old cross country skis. We would go over jumps and around in circles and have so much fun.

I remember dad tying a rope to the back of the truck and then to some tubes and we would go tubing behind the truck on the snow.

I remember going to the foothillls behind Claresholm to "hunt" for a Christmas tree. We would have fun sledding down the ditches and riding in the back of the truck with the tree covering us. Those hotdogs, chips and hot chocolate sure tasted good by the fire Dad made after getting the tree.

I remember sleeping at Grandma Smith's house and curling up under the covers of that old fashioned bed and looking out the window at the snow covered pasture and at the beautiful moon and stars.

Just a few Summer memories thrown in...

I remember the 3 of us kids playing on the trampoline for hours at a time. It wasn't justcrack the egg either (though dad would play that with us and we would have so much fun). We would play karate, amusement park , volcano, sprinkler games.

I remember us 3 kids would love to play cars in the mud. We would make roads and towns and we would get as dirty as dad did when he was out on the tractor all day.

I remember us 3 kids sleeping on the trampoline or making our own tents or hammocks. Nathan would provide the music on his portable radio shaped as a small TV and we would fall asleep to country music like Garth Brooks and John Micheal Montgomery.

So many more memories to share but that will have to wait for another day. I loved my childhood with my family!!

 

 

Baby Girl has Personality Plus!

I want to apologize for not having put any pictures up on my blog. I don't have any pictures downloaded on my labtop and even if I did, I still can not figure out how to get them on the blog. Hopefully soon! Until then, more writing it is.

I want to share something with you about baby girl. She has quite the personality and I see it every morning when they put me on a monitor to check her heartbeat. She kicks at it all the time when it is on. She squirms and kicks and punches and I have a feeling that she doesn't like anything on her that pushes against "her space". Maybe she feels claustrophobic - you would think all babys would. I wonder if she will be outgoing and have a dominent extrovert personality like Caeleb or if she will be a quiet and maybe shy little girl who finds it hard to try new things and wants to stay with mommy and daddy. Or maybe she will be a mixture. Right now, she seems to be pretty "outgoing" moving all around. I guess we will see what she is like when she is out and about. Everyone is different and it is fun discovering the different personalities that little children develop.

I had fun being at home on pass last evening. I snuggled up with Caeleb on the couch and we read books in my new blue rocker that Chris gave me as an early Christmas gift.  We also carved our pumpkin that Chris bought before Halloween and put lit candles in it and then turned off the lights. Caeleb liked that.  "Pu-kin" he says in an excited little voice.

It is a winter wonderland outside with the snow coming down and swirling around. I hope everyone stays safe on these roads!! I love this weather but I love it when I can be home with my family, safe indoors, with a fire in the fireplace, watching a good movie or reading a good book.

Out of here! (well, for the day).

Baby girl looks great!! She weighed 4.1 lbs on Monday and everything looks great. So, the question is, are they going to let me leave the hospital for good (until I deliver). The answer - No! Yah, it has been an interesting few days but I have come to accept the fact that I may be trapped in the hospital for the next 6 weeks or so. I won't go into detail but the basic reason is, I am at a higher risk for a Full Placental Abruption and that could be extremely dangerous if it happened at home! So, they want to keep me really close so that if anything happens, they can deal with it right away. Do I think this is going to happen? No! I am not giving up hope that I may still be able to go home soon and stay there until I deliver but we are taking it week by week here (not day by day anymore).

However, I do get to go out on pass today so Chris will pick me up in the afternoon and I will spend the evening with Caeleb and then back to the hospital to sleep. I actually have been sleeping really well here. I have awesome nurses and support staff, 2 great doctors and the food, well, it isn't that bad. I like the Macaroni and Cheese and the fish.

Now, to count a few of my Blessings! I have so many of them.

1). I am grateful for my husband. He never complains about having to be pretty much a single parent who works full time. He is so amazing! I don't know of anyone who could do what he is doing. He juggles getting himself and Caeleb ready and dropping Caeleb off at the babysitters by about 7:45 in the morning, doing his daily phone conference meeting while driving (no worries, he has a headset), working from home or driving around the city to different companies for work, and picking up Caeleb around 5:30 or 6:00 pm. Then he and Caeleb come and visit me before heading home to get supper ready, give Caeleb a bath, put him to bed around 8:00 pm and then Chris has to finish up documentation for work which sometimes keeps him busy until 10:00 or 11:00 pm. And the next day, he does it all over again. Weekends are spent doing laundry and other chores. He has been doing this for more than a month now even when I was at home. I would help out here and there doing what I could do with restricted activities but he took the brunt of the workload. What a guy!! I don't know if I could do it and keep his positive attitude. On top of it all, he still has the strength to be an emotional strength to me.

2). I am grateful for my brother Nathan who lives with us and is a huge help. He is always willing to help out. He will come home from a long days work and be willing to take Caeleb on the spur of the moment if Chris needs to do something. He works full time and spends alot of his extra time playing with his nephew and helping out around the house. He even found winter tires for the car and put them on the car and I feel so much better now that Chris can drive around with winter tires on. Nathan is very good at things like that. He makes yummy pork and beef roasts and provides a delicious meal for the family every once in a while which reminds us that good meals still exist when life is hectic. He is the expert at getting Caeleb to go to sleep. Caeleb and him have a special bond and they have so much fun playing and watching movies together.

3). I am grateful for my Caeleb who is such a good little boy. He goes to 3 different houses a week while his daddy is working and he seems to adapt so well. He looks forward to his playdates with the other little kids. He doesn't forget me and talks to me on the phone and gives me much needed kisses over the phone. He visits me and smiles his irresistable smile and laughs his contagious laugh and he melts my heart every time.

4). I am grateful for my sister Camellia. She has her own little family, works and still finds time to drive up to Calgary every once in a while to take care of Caeleb and provide for some cousin bonding time for Caeleb and Sterling. She cleans our house when she comes and cheers me up with her visits and phone calls.

5). I am grateful for my parents. Even though they are far away in Korea, they send encouraging words and other gifts that help our family get from one day to the next. They are where they need to be and that is a blessing to us in itself!

6). I am grateful for Chris' parents and for their kindness in their words and actions. I am grateful for the phone calls, emails and notes that have come our way throughout the years. They may be able to come out right after baby girl is born and we are so excited for that!

7). I am grateful for extended family and their encouraging emails that keep us going forward.

8). I am grateful for my cousins Paul and Kamille and their children. They watch Caeleb once a week and he so looks forward to going over there to play with them.

9). I am grateful for the Radfords and the Allreds who watch Caeleb as well during the week and add more fun and adventure to his life. I am grateful for my Relief Society sisters and all they have done for us from arranging child care to meals to visits in the hospital.

10). I am grateful that I am not actually sick while being here in the hospital. I feel perfectly fine. And I think baby girl feels fine too. She doesn't seem to be affected by what has been going on around her. The people on the medical unit that I work on are often in pain or just feel so sick. I feel like I am in perfect health. How lucky am I.

11). I am grateful to be Canadian. I can't imagine what it would be like to be down in the States and have to worry about health insurance and covering what the insurance doesn't cover. I might even be at home just praying that everything goes alright. Nothing bad with that but I do feel well taken care of here. In this situation, I believe that I am so lucky to be in Canada.

12). Most of all, I am grateful for the gosple and for the perspective it puts on life. It is such a blessing to know of our purpose being here on the earth and to know that as children of God, we all have an amazing, unique and divine potential. Our individual experiences in this life can mold each of us into exactly who our Heavenly Father knows we can become.

 

 

 

A Song in my Heart.

It has been a bit of a lonely day here. Chris and Caeleb are still recovering from the stomach flu but they are almost completely better. Still, they need to rest at home as much as they can before another busy week begins. I am sitting here listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on my Labtop. Music has such a power. It can inspire and bring the spirit into your life. It can provide such peace and comfort. It can bring more meaning to each day.

I remember my mission in Ecuador. My mission companions and I would sing hymns and other songs while walking down the streets knocking on doors or going from one appointment to the next. A favourite "other" song was the one from Hercules "I can go the Distance." We would sing that one as loud as we could in English. Singing gave us courage and strength in reaching out to others on the street.

When I got back from my mission, I sang alot. I remember singing at work all the time. My coworkers and patients probably thought I was crazy but I loved to sing and I feel like it helped me when I worked. It gave me confidence. I remember one time, one of my co-worker's patients had just past away. I knew that the patient and family spoke Spanish. I felt promted to sing for them and I was able to go into that peaceful room with the family at the bedside and sing "I am a Child of God" in Spanish. It was a special experience for me and I think it was for the family as well. I need to start singing again!

Today I have listened to several songs that provide for a peaceful Sabbath day spirit. A few of my favourite songs are Homeward Bound (Mormon Tabernacle Choir), Come Thou Fount (this one is Chris' favourite), My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee,  Peace Like A River, If You Could Hie To Kolob, Shenandoah, Consider The Lilies, Wayfaring Stranger, My Shepard Will Supply My Need, and there are more.

I am not going to sing outloud today while I am here in the hospital but I have a song in my heart. I hope that little girl is enjoying the music too.

Beautiful Calgary!

I am looking outside the window right now from my room on the 4th floor of the Foothills hospital. I get the bed by the window - lucky me. It is a beautiful Fall day and the Fall is my favourite time of the year (right now in my life that is). Alot of the trees still have orange, red, yellow leaves on them. Yesterday they were all covered in frost and that was beautiful in its own way. I believe a chinook has hit because the snow looks like it is starting to melt. The fog that has been hanging over the city for several days now has finally lifted and I can see downtown Calgary very well. It looks like a calm and peaceful Saturday for Calgary. I am proud to call Calgary my home!

There are so many different kinds of people who live here in Calgary. I even get a glimpse of that being a patient in the hospital. I have had many different types of roomates. A teenager -  soon to be mom -  to a mom from Quebec to a 41 year old lawyer mom soon to have twins (she kept me entertained). A Latin American mom, a Asian mom, and a Phillipino mom. Stay at home moms, unmarried moms with boyfriends, married working moms. All different kinds! I have enjoyed getting to know my roomates. That is one thing I like about nursing too. You get to know and learn from alot of different types of people and that is a good thing! We can all learn from each other.

I love to hear Caeleb on the phone. Chris and Caeleb are a little sick today (the stomach flu seems to be going around) so they can not come and visit. But I heard Caeleb's little voice on the phone this morning and that cheered me up. "Mommy, I got cheeros (cheerios)" he said in his little toddler voice and those toddler voices can sure melt anyone's heart. He doesn't say I love you yet but I asked him for a kiss and he gave me a big wet one that I could hear loud and clear over the phone. And if I can measure his love for me by how loud his phone kisses are, than he does love me! That is reassuring because I feel sorry for the little guy as he is probably thinking I have abandoned him. That is the hardest thing about being here. But he has a wonderful Daddy and Uncle Nathan to take care of him and play with him this weekend (even if Chris is sick), so he will be just fine. I don't worry about him but I miss him. I miss my 3 boys (Chris, Caeleb and Nathan).

Nurse to Patient

So I am one who has never been admitted to the hospital - until recently that is. Okay, so I was in hospital for a while when I was born and then again for 1.5 days when Caeleb was born (but that is different). I remember starting Nursing school and not really having a clue what was done in a hospital. I wanted to be a nurse because I loved to help others and I loved biology, chemistry, anotomy and physiology. I did not have any experience in hospital nursing but I did work as a care aid for 2 summers right after High School.

I must admit, I have felt a little at a disadvantage when I have worked in the hospital. I thought I could relate a bit to the babies in the special care nursery because I was a small, sick little baby myself and I really enjoyed the year that I worked there. However, on the medical unit that I have worked on for the last 4 years, I have had a hard time relating to my patients. I didn't know what it felt like to be stuck in the hospital day after day wanting to go home, unsure of what lay ahead. I didn't know what it felt like to have so many people in and out of my room each day scurrying around trying to get things done while time passed so slowely for me from the sidelines. I didn't know what it was like to have serveral roomates from different backgrounds and with different attitudes. I didn't know alot of things. Of couse the antepartum unit that I am on right now is alot different than a medical unit but I do I feel like I am learning, in a way, what it is like to be on the other side of the scenerio.

This experience has been good for me. I really feel that Heavenly Father has given it to me to help me with my nursing career and with life in general. Of course I do not want to be here. No one wants to be in the hospital! But I have been given a taste of what a patient feels like and this taste will help me as I try to be a better nurse to my patients. I recognize  attributes in some of the nurses here that I already have or that I want to develop. I recognize that I have my own talents that really do help my patients in different situations. I have come to learn that I am not the only nurse who does not have all the answers or struggles with feeling confident at times. I have come to realize that, as a patient, I prefer a caring nurse who does not have all the answers and experience to a knowledgeable nurse who lacks in people and caring skills.

I feel very blessed that I have so many people around me that truly care about what happens in this pregnancy. They want the best for little girl and me!

I am excited to put into my nursing practice, what I have learned during my 2 week stay in the hospital.

Halloween for Caeleb

I am still stuck in the hospital but there is an end in sight. I just need to go for another ultrasound. I wanted to be home last night for Halloween. Originally, Chris, Caeleb and I were going to go trick or treating together. Chris was going to be a Scarecrow, Caeleb a Lion and me, Dorothy, all from the Wizard of Oz. Nathan wanted to hold down the fort and hand out candy.

But Alas, here I am and was unable to go. Caeleb and Chris ended up joining Paul and Kamille's family and they ventured out into the cold with them for some Trick or Treating. Chris forgot Caeleb's lion costume so he went as the Cat in the Hat. Caeleb could only tolerate about 6 houses because of the cold but Chris said that he had fun saying "treat" with the other kids (he was there for a "treat" not "trick" right) and "thank you" when he was given some candy. Oh, I so want to see pictures myself because I was looking forward to seeing Caeleb dressed up. The more I think about it, the more dissapointed I am that I couldn't be there but I can imagine that Caeleb looked and acted adorable when he was trick or treating for the first time.  Nathan held down the fort and I guess there were not as many children that came to our place as we originally thought there would be.

For the record, this is Caeleb's 3rd Halloween. Last year Caeleb had a tiger costume that he wore but he did not go trick or treating. I had to work that evening and he was a little too little to know what was going on. Also, Caeleb was a bear for his first Halloween in 2010. He was only 1.5 months old and looked so precious in his little bear outfit that Wendy let us barrow.