Our 5th Anniversary trip! Disneyland and Cruise

So last year, Chris and I went to West Edmonton Mall for our Anniversary. We said that we would not do another big trip for a while. I guess we were wrong. Since we lost our baby (miscarriage) in May and would no longer have an addition to the family this fall (and believe me, that was our first option - no question about it), we decided, what the heck, lets do something really big for our 5th anniversary. And we did just that!

I dropped the kids off at the farm on October 17th and then on Sunday morning, October 19th, we hopped on a plane headed for Los Angeles. (We knew that Caeleb and Elva would have a blast with Nana and Papa and vice versa so we were okay with leaving them for the week). We arrived in Los Angeles at about 2:00 pm and took a shuttle to Best Western (across the street from Disneyland). Once Chris and I were settled into our room, we walked to Bubba Gumps for Supper. Camellia and I went to that restaurant a few years ago when passing through L.A on our way to Ecuador. We like the movie Forrest Gump so a meal of shrimp with Forrest Gump memorabilia all around was such a fun experience.

Monday morning we were at Disneyland by 0800. We headed straight for Splash Mountain. I had wanted to go on that ride ever since a best friend had told me about it when we were 9 and she was just back from Disneyland. Chris and I were first in line and I loved it!! It is my favourite ride! We rode it 5 times in the3 days we were there.

From there, we went on all sorts of rides from Pirates of the Carribean to Madderhorn bobsleds to space mountain. We did almost every ride in Disneyland. I felt like we were transported back to our childhood years, without a care in the world. It was so much fun!!

California Adventureland was great as well. The rollercoaster ride was so thrilling. We saw the show Aladdin in 45 minutes and the actors did an incredible job at it. And the 8:00 pm Watercolor show was amazing. Did you know that in the busy season, Disneyland-California Adventureland has 25000 employees. It really is a magical place. Everything is done so well. If any of you blog followers go to Disneyland, make sure you do the Cars movie ride. So much fun! I love it when you race the car next to you. I felt like an excited little kid while riding these rides and I feel like one now as I talk about it. I think it is important to escape to childhood every once in a while.

So Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was just enough time to get all we wanted to done at the two parks. We thought of the kids often and imagined what it would be like to see them on different rides and watching different shows. However, since Disneyland will mostly be a once in a lifetime family trip, we decided it would be better to wait until the kids are older and can go on all the rides. We saw a lot of crying kids who were scared of the rides they were on or disappointed that they could not go on a ride.

Thursday morning, we got spruced up, rented a car and off to the Newport temple we went for a session. It was good to get some spiritual time in as that is important in our relationship (and we did miss two weeks of church).  On a side note, you know something. Chris is wonderful. He booked the shuttle, the car, the hotels, the cruise. He bought the Disney tickets online. He even made sure we renewed our passports. It would have been a sorry trip if I was in charge of it. I would have forgot at least one thing. He did not forget a thing!

Chris drove us to Long Beach. We dropped off the car and were shuttled to the Carnival cruise loading dock where we got on the boat at about 1:00 pm. They have everything down to a science for loading 2000 people and we were on the boat in no time eating a buffet lunch. We ate so much this trip. All you can eat. The cruise food was so good and well made. I ate more than I should but that is allowed on vacation right? Each of the three evenings on the cruise, we had supper at 6:00 pm in a fancy dinning room. We ate with the same people each supper. And can you imagine, 7 out of the 9 people at our table were members of our church. Crazy huh.

Thursday night, after playing a round of mini golf, we went to bed early and watched a movie in our room. I didn't think I would feel the sway of the boat, it being such a big ship, but I did. In fact it took a couple of days after the trip to get rid of my sea legs. I was never sea sick, just had a rocking back and forth feeling all the time.

Friday we got up early to watch the sun rise but by the time we figured out what side of the boat we needed to be on, it had already risen. We spent the day in Ensenada Mexico. Probably my first and last trip to Mexico (I would rather go to Guatamala or Ecuador) but we enjoyed the day nonetheless. We opted for not doing any of the tours that were offered. Instead, we spent the day roaming around the city, me practicing my Spanish and remembering my Mission in a Spanish speaking country (the smells, the sights and sounds brought vivid memories back of Ecuador). We got a pork taco from a vendor off the street and a freshly made fruit smoothie as well. Friday night was formal dinner in the fancy dinning room with dressed up waiters that knew our names. We ate lobster, alligator, rabbit, escargot, ratatouille, crème brulee, and other foods on this trip that we never ever eat at home. after supper, we went dancing and saw a Diva show with 80s and 90s Songs. We also saw the same group of performers do a rock and roll show. A lot of people on the boat seemed to come for the alcohol and casinos but we had just as much fun without that.

Saturday was spent cruising in open water with no land in sight. We slept in and ordered room service for breakfast. Then we got brunch at the all you can eat buffet. Silly us. No one needs that much food. We went on the waterslide a few times, played mini golf, went to a detoxification class offered in the gym (which will be useful after stuffing ourselves this trip) and then spent a while in the sauna and hot tubs. We had a nap in the afternoon and after supper we went to a family comedy show and back to a second showing of the Rock and Roll performance that we loved yesterday. We even got front row seats. It was definitely a highlight of our trip.

Sunday we got up early to watch the sun rise as well. We disembarked at 0900 and took a shuttle to the airport. Both Chris and I have decided that, although we had a blast on the cruise, we don't really feel the want or need to do another one. However, we are already planning our trip to Disneyland with the family (which will be a few years from now).

I finished reading a book on the flight home (I am a slow reader and with the two kids, I don't seem to get much time to read). Nathan picked us up from the airport (what a wonderful brother) and we came home to the kids. We missed them a lot and it was so wonderful to see them. Mom and Dad took such good care of them and they loved the farm. I hope to share an adventure like the one we had with Caeleb and Elva someday.

I feel so blessed that I got to spend this time with Chris. We get so busy with work and the kids, it was a needed trip to just have some time together. I have been so blessed. I know I take my blessings for granted so often but I really do not want that. I am grateful for all that I have.

 

 

 

Birthday Boys September 2014

Caeleb turned 4 this September 14. Can you believe it! Blogging about his 3rd birthday seems like yesterday. He is growing up so fast but in my heart he will always be my little boy. I love the book "I'll Love you Forever" by Robert Munsch. I am the mom in that book. Caeleb is the little boy.

Chris also turned a year older on the same. They will have to share this day forever but my boys are good at sharing. They don't mind.

September 14 fell on a Sunday this year. We went to church (They sang to Chris and Caeleb in Primary) and then Mom and Dad joined us for a steak and potato supper. And hotdogs for Caeleb and Elva. Caeleb got a sticker book from the Nelson, cars from Uncle Nathan, a Christmas book from Aunty Lindsey, a jean quilt from Nana and Papa and some activity books,markers from Grandma and Grandpa Watters. Caeleb and Chris got the Hungry Hippo game. This is Caeleb's first game (well, he has played memory before and he is quite good at it) and he loves Hungry Hippos! He played it all day long for a few days after. Chris got, well, our Disney vacation/cruise that is coming up in October. It is our birthday gift, anniversary gift and Christmas gift all rolled up in one trip and I am super excited. I also got him some clothes for the trip and some stickers to put on our big map of the world (that hangs on the wall at the top of the stairs) to represent places we have been. I do love to travel but I know my place is to be at home now as a wife and mother. I don't think we will do any other big trip in the near future.

I made two cakes - an Green Elephant shaped cake and a white horse cake - both requested by Caeleb. He must have got the idea from his room as I sponge painted green elephants and white horses on the wall in his room. Elephants are still his favourite.

This birthday was a simple but special day. As I tell people on their birthdays, Lets " make this year the best one yet."

I Love my Little Life

Hi there. I just want to write a little blurp of gratitude before going to bed tonight. I Love my Little Life. I love my little Family. My husband and two little kids mean the world to me. I Love my little home. It is small but cozy and I love cozy. It is perfect for us and I love to make it mine. I even love my little van. We call it the mini mini van or "mini mini" for short. It has given me freedom in going places and I am grateful for this experience. I love the little opportunities in life to serve. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve in Primary and to teach the 4 year olds. They teach me a lot and I have fun being their friend and mentor. I am blessed to have my little job and to be able to work no more than 2 shifts a week on average (it used to be 1 shift but I am getting a new rotation that will be 2 shifts a week). I am grateful to have consistency in work and to not have to pick up shifts as a casual staff like a lot of nurses have to do these days. I used to have to do that all the time and it is hard to do that with kids. In other professions, people have to work full time to keep their jobs going but I only have to do 2 days a week. I have not thought too much about it before but that is a big blessing in being a nurse. I have been so blessed in my simple little life! I sincerely want to share those blessings with others.

Summer of 2014 - Family Time!

Summer of 2014 has gone by so fast. I feel like we did not do much. Then again, I feel like we were always busy. Weird eh. We had a lot of Watters family visit and that did keep us busy. Chris' sister Wendy and her boys visited early May before Elva got sick. We had fun with going to the Dinosaur museum in Drumheller, going to the zoo and going to Thomas the train exhibit at heritage park. That was a favorite. Caeleb liked riding the train and he liked hanging out with his cousins.

Jared, Landon, Jared's girlfriend Heather and her little girl Kaylee visited us next. They came for the Calgary stampede but we got some good walks and visits in. Jared is hilarious and it is always so much fun to have him around.

Chris parents visited us a couple weeks after Jared. We went to the zoo with them too. It is nice to have zoo passes this year. We go quite a bit and both Caeleb and Elva are learning so much about animals. They are always game to go to the zoo. I think it was the hottest day of the year when we went to the zoo that time (40 degrees). Lou Ann and Gary are so good to their grandchildren. They got Caeleb and Elva backpacks and Caeleb is using his for preschool.

Last of all, Chris' brother Eric, his wife Rachel and their two little girls Olivia and Eve came to visit in the middle of August. I had to work the weekend they came but Rachel and I got a few good visits in (I needed those talks) and we had fun going to the zoo on Monday and having a games night.

So that concludes our Watters family visits. I did work twice as much in August (8 shifts instead of the usual 4) so that seemed to take up a lot of that month. We did not go camping this year which is too bad as I love to camp but we are saving our money for a special anniversary trip in the fall. I did set the tent up in the back yard. We used it as shade as the kids played in their kiddy pool that I bought for $9 at Walmart. They loved it and were entertained for hours and hours. We also went swimming several times at Sikome lake which is only a 10 minute drive from our place and its free! I am all about saving money. That sometimes isn't a good thing.

Mom planted me a little garden when Elva was in the hospital but I did not do a very good job at maintaining it. I won't beat myself up over it. I will just try better next year right. We did get some spinach, beans and peas from it and we did enjoy our raspberries again. And our slow motion flowerwork show. Except it was a dry summer so the flowers and grass did not flourish like they did last year. The kids and I enjoyed many trips to the parks around out house and some stroller trips to the store. I do love to walk but I could do better on my jogging. We also enjoyed a few trips to the farm. I love to go there! I feel like I can let go of my stresses and enjoy the simple life when I am there. However, I do know I need to make my home, my beautiful, little Copperfield home (complete with my mom's old rocking chair on the front porch), my sanctuary now.

We got another vehicle! Since we have been married (it will be 5 years this coming October), we have shared one car. We have done some pretty crazy car juggling to work things out between Chris' job and my job. When I worked evenings when Caeleb was one year old, we would drop Chris off at work in the morning, come home, drop Caeleb off at the babysitters in the afternoon, go pick up Chris, drive halfway across the city to the Rockyview hospital, he would drop me off and then go back to his job (his lunch break) and then he would pick me up at 11:30 at night. Oh, and then there were the mornings where we would wake the kids up, drive me to work, drive them to the babysitters, I take the hour and 1/2 bus-train ride home after work and Chris picks them up at the babysitters and we meet at home at 5:00 pm. Yep, we are a crazy bunch. But I must say, we have worked well as a team. Anyways, so we now have a mini mini van called a Mazda 5 and I love it. I thank my brother for finding it for us. Thanks Nathan. It is a 2008 but in great condition and has a lot of fun things - heated seats for one. I am enjoying my freedom!

Chris worked the August and September long weekends but Nathan, my friend Lindsey (who is living with us for the moment), the kids and I did escape to Camellia and Doug's house for the September long weekend. I hadn't been there in about 9 months. We went to Waterton to skip rocks in the lake, walk around, play at the park and Nathan treated us to an ice cream cone. It was a relaxing get away.

Well, it is September now. It snowed a lot last week (crazy huh) and Chris, the kids and I had fun making a snowman. It has since melted and was beautiful out today. Gotta love Alberta weather! Chris has been crazy busy at work but we are getting our weekly date night in and that is very important in our lives right now. I know regular date night is extremely important in helping keep a relationship where is should be. I think work is starting to slow down for him which is good because he has been too busy in my books. I don't think I could have handled what he has had to handle juggling work, church and family. He is an incredible person!

Well, I have been at this post for days on and off so I will put an end to it and publish it. That was our summer in a nutshell. It was simple but good. Until next time.

 

 

 

 

 

Life with its ups and Downs

Well, it has been a while since I have written. We are all doing well. But the important thing is that Elva is doing wonderful! We are so grateful to have her back in our life. You don't realize how much you can take precious things, even family members, for granted until you almost lose one. That hospital experience seems like a blur now. We are so grateful for Mom and Dad Smith, Aunt Camellia and family, Uncle Nathan and all others who were a support during that difficult time.

Elva has been home from the hospital for more than a month now. Less than a week after she got home, our lives were turned upside down once again after I went to a normal prenatal appointment and our little one's heartbeat could not be detected. I sobbed on the walk home (we live near the clinic) as I knew what this could mean. It had happened once before. I was sent for an ultrasound a few hours later while our Bishop and his wife watched the kids and it confirmed that the baby had died. We were pretty crushed. On May 15th when Elva was at her sickest, I had raced to a nearby walk in clinic to check this baby's heartbeat as I needed some reassurance in my life. It was fine and that was at 14 weeks and 2 days. The baby probably died within the next week and I had no idea that it had happened, just like last time. This baby will always be 17 weeks in my mind. I count my blessings that this did not happen until Elva was out of the hospital.

I had the D and C two days later and it was a horrible experience unlike the last time when I went to the Foothills hospital day surgery and I was treated so well. This time, I went to the Peter Lougheed and was put into a room full of women, some of them having elective abortions! So while they took a pill to stop their child's heartbeat, I sat there wishing I could have their baby before they killed it. I know I am being harsh but this is an extremely sensitive issue with me, especially right now. I am highly opinionated when it comes to letting a baby live. If women can get themselves pregnant, even if it is an "accident", they can accept the consequences and grow the baby for 9 months (heaven forbid - even with the associated risks) and then give it to a family that will love it. I sat fuming in the waiting room reading a "therapeutic" notebook filled with women saying that they "loved" their babies and "this is the hardest decision they have had to make" but they " knew they made the right choice"... to kill them. Wait, what!. Chris even had to take me out of the waiting room as I was a just a little loud in verbalizing my opinions. Even now I am sitting here fuming. Okay, deep breath. Move on.

Well, life isn't fair. That is true. Okay, maybe some people have "it all". Then again, I think I am that person to other people. I know that people have hidden trials too. Everyone has trials. That is true.  And I know I have truly been blessed with so much!!! SO MUCH!!! I have several good friends that I want so badly for them to have what I have. Why can't they have what I have!! Life isn't fair.

What am I doing going on and on. Time for some positive.

When I came out of "surgery," Chris told me that he thought this baby should be called Jaime. I had had that same thought come to me. We have never considered the name Jaime before  We don't know if it is a boy or a girl but Jaime does fit both. Now, I am not sure when a spirit enters a body or if a spirit destined for one body can then be destined for another body. I don't think about this too much as I know we will have all the answers someday. But, I feel that we all will be able to raise many, many, many more children in the next life if we are worthy to do so. And perhaps there may be a Lily Anne (the baby we lost at 18 weeks) and a Jaime in that bunch. I would like to think so.

I remember when Elva was so sick, I pleaded with Heavenly Father many times (on the bathroom floor in the ICU, as well as other places) that he could take this baby but to spare Elva. I don't know if things happen like that. But I do know that Heavenly Father can do anything including miracles, he can give and take and that he knows best. He allows things to happen so that we can learn and grow and be refined. He does not give us more than we can handle. But we need to continue to have faith in his plan or else we can become hardened and miserable, living without purpose.

Okay, time for more positive.

Elva is talking a lot these days. When she was in the hospital, the speech pathologist thought her vocabulary was not up to par and she wanted to send Elva to speech therapy. Elva must have heard that as she started using new words pretty much every day after that. "Book, Mom, this, ball, mine, there, up, bye, peas (please), t-ou (thank you)" are a few words in her vocabulary now.

She is running like the best of them too. Before she was released from the hospital the Physiotherapist said she was at the level of a 12-14 month old with her strength, balance, and walking skills. I think she was back to 18 months the day after that. She is my go getter bean.

One thing I want to remember about Caeleb is how he says the word remember. "Memember Mommy, memember." He loves to laugh and I love his laugh and his sense of humor. Caeleb, I will memember.

Well, that is enough for now. Until next time.

 

 

Hurdles of the PICU

I have been posting updates on Elva about her life in the ICU on facebook but I know not all of my family reads facebook so I will put them on here as well.

May 11

Everyone, our beautiful little Elva is really sick. She is at the children's in the icu as of this afternoon with a serious respiratory infection and is intubated. Please keep her in your prayers.

May 11

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers everyone. It means so much to us. They are taking good care of her here. She needs help with breathing and so is on a ventilator and is sedated. Not sure what infection she has but they are doing lots of tests. She is pretty sick. Oh, and happy mothers day. I love being a mom! even with the heartache it can sometimes bring I would not change being caeleb and elvas mom for anything.

May 11

I am grateful for my mom today and everday for the love and support she gives me. I love her so much.

May 12

A tough day. Elva is septic and it is hard to keep her oxygen up right now because of all the junk in her lungs. I am scared but we continue with prayer and faith and a feeling of peace

Update: A scary day but Elva seems stable right now. She crashed around 3:00 and her oxygen saturations were very low down to 3%. They have had to paralyze her and sedate her completely so that the ventilator is doing all the breathing work. It is so sad seeing my little girl covered in tubes and lines but it is good that she can rest her lung muscles for a while. Hopefully her oxygen stays stable and her temperature and heart rate come down and she has a good night. We feel blessed to live here in Calgary with the great care at the childrens hospital. I will keep you updated. Thanks again for your prayers.

May 13

Another exhausting day full of little ups and downs but no changes for the better. I feel emotionally and physically drained. But I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. Please virus, go away and leave my little girl alone. Elva, I love you. be strong and ride this thing out.

May 13

I can choose to be optimistic. Tonight is going to be a good night

May 14

Elva Update. We are grateful for everyone's fasting and prayers today. Your fasting and prayers have held us up with feelings of peace and comfort. Today has been very hard. She had a good night last night but her oxygen has dropped to where she needs a special ventilator called an ossilator which blasts constant air into her lungs to keep the alveoli open. She is recieving blood right now as her hemoglobin is a bit low and we hope it will help with her oxygen levels. We are exhausted, scared, discouraged at times. But, we have faith and we continue to be optimistic. We love you so much Elva and we are fighting with you.

May 15

Elva is liking the ossilator and blood transfusion which is great since there are not many options after that. We are so grateful for that she is holding steady. Let's keep this optimistic outlook. Oh, and the fire alarm is going off now.

May 15

Well, they say Elva is the sickest kid in the PICU - the acutely sickest kid in Calgary I guess. I guess she likes the attention. That is where we are at. Afternoon and evenings seem to be extra bad. I was feeling so optimistic this morning and I am trying to hold on to that. I feel discouraged now and the tears are coming down hard but I know I was blessed to feel such peace and optimism this morning. It could be a lot worse too. I know that. I am just opening up fully right now to you. I know I am not alone. Others have been here before. Others have gone through so much worse. But it is a nightmare rollercoaster ride. Anyways, sorry for my negativity. Time to be positive.

May 16

Update: The night was stable as they paralyzed elva completely and hardly touched her so her oxygen levels are a bit better. They don't want to paralyze her for too long as that can cause other future problems but when they say that, I think, future problems are okay, I just want a future with my little girl. It seems that everytime they suction her or move her, her oxygen levels go down, they ha...ve to turn the oxygen up and it she takes forever to recover. We slept pretty good last night except that I probably have one of the viruses Elva has and I have been coughing so much. We continue this rollercoaster ride. The staff here is so great and they work so hard. I have that fear that they will give up on her, but they won't. They are fighting with elva along with is. Keep fighting our little jean bean. We love you.

May 16

I want to thank everyone for their support. The meals have been delicious, the texts, and phone calls and messages have been cherished.

May 16

Also, I want to mention that even though I see the worried and puzzled looks on the faces of the staff here in the PICU, they have seen this before many times and children are strong and they have seen so many pull through. They remain positive and supportive. I can be a pessimist and sometimes the negative thoughts keep rolling through my head when i see Elva so sick but, I need to be positive. ELVA CAN AND WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

May 16

Elva is doing great tonight. Her oxygen saturations are way up and all her other vital signs look great! Hopefully they can start weaning down the settings of the oscillator soon. I am sure there will be ups and downs from here but I feel so optimistic right now that things are looking bright.

May 17

Elva is having a hard time recovering from this last suction but she is slowly getting back to where she should be I think. It still seems to be a two step forward, one step back. One step forward, two steps back type of situation. I cant describe the horrible feeling it is when her oxygen saturations start dropping after suctioning and you don't know what is going to happen and you can't do anyth...ing about it. She is on the most oxygen she can be on. They may make some other changes today that i am very nervous about. I hope she does well with them. I am trying to be positive. I feel like I am taking you all on this rollercoaster ride with us and that can be hard on you too so i will let you know that we are continuing the up and downs, we do not know what the outcome will be ( they don't tell us a prognosis but say it can go either way) but we have faith and hope that Elva can and will get better if it is the lord's will (that last part is so incredibly hard to say). We love you Elva. Get well! We know you can!

May 17

Okay, last post for a little while. I want to thank those out their who have been through similar situations and have had success.
Thank you for visiting us Debbie (your story with Ashlyn is incredible and inspiring) and thanks for the message Amanda. Elva will get through this too.

May 17

So the change I mentioned that the ICU team was going to do was to put Elva back on the Ventilator. The reason they decided to do this was because she was not tolerating the oscillator well after the earlier today suctioning. The doctor would have to bag her to get her oxygen levels up and then they would hook her up to the oscillator and we would all watch her oxygen saturation number go down and... down and down. Then he would bag her again and hook her up and she would do the same. Chris and I were tucked into the corner of the room squeezing each others hands, closing our eyes and silently praying. It was a risky move but they thought the ventilator may work better for her now to keep her oxygen where it needed to be since they can get more secretions up when on the ventilator. They switched her over this afternoon. At first her oxygen went down and down and then they gave her some nitrous oxide to help blood flow to her lungs. We (the ICU team and us parents) held our breaths and waited. The numbers started to climb and have been stable ever since. So, Elva is back on the Ventilator!! I would say this is a step in the right direction. Now Elva, please behave with the next suctioning

May 18

Elva update. Elva had a great night last night. They barely touched her and kept her sedated and paralyzed and her vital signs looked great. We love the night Nurse Val who has worked in the PICU for about 30 years and she recognized my cousin who's little girl was in the ICU 12 years ago. That is impressive! She is so optimistic and when I went to visit Elva at my routine 4:00 am visit, we had a ...good talk. I got to help bath, change bed sheets and turn Elva this morning. She is extremely sensitive to movement and suctioning and today her oxygen saturations dropped when she was moved and have not quite recovered to where they were but we are getting used to the ups and downs. I think some of the nurses and respiratory therapists are a little afraid of Elva (no offense Elva), because of her extreme sensitivity and long recovery time. I got a little chuckle out of that. I do know that Elva has a mind of her own and wants to go at her own pace. Perhaps these infections have minds of their own too. But we are holding in there and I think she is improving slowly.

May 19

Elva update. Elva is having a very good day. She is tolerating suctioning well and her oxygenation is great today. Her heart rate is quite low but they are attributing that to the sedation medications she is on so they are weaning her slowly from those. So, she is starting to open up her eyes and move a little. They want to be really slow with weaning her off the ventilator as she has shown them that she is a tricky little girl. We are so grateful for the thoughts, prayers and fasting of friends and family and the friends of friends and family. We have seen miracles and have felt so much peace and strength this last week.

May 20

Elva update: Elva is doing really good except that she started vomiting
an hour ago. Hopefully it is just some air in her stomach causing the discomfort and not the stomach flu. Maybe it is withdrawl from some of the medications they have been weaning. They gave her something for nausea so that should settle her. Her oxygen and heartrate are great so maybe she can have the breathing tube out tommorrow. Thanks again for your continued support.

May 21

Elva update. Another great day. Tomorrow should be the day to get her breathing tube out. Elva is waking up a little but is still very sleepy. She is going through narcotic withdraw which is normal as she has been on high concentrations of pain and sedation medications. I am excited to hold and snuggle her again.

May 22

Elva update: breathing tube is out and we got an afternoon full of snuggles and a few little smiles in there too. She is so weak and teathered down by so many cords still but she tried to pick up the call bell pretending it was a phone  and she said, "hi" in her small raspy tube affected voice (she likes to say hi into the phone or anything that can appear like a phone). That is my Elva!

May 26

Elva update: Sorry it has taken me forever to post this but I have been without a computer and phone for a few days. Elva has been out of the ICU for a few days now and can go home tomorrow! She is a bit weak and going through Narcotic withdraw symptoms but she is the Elva we know and loves to play and smile. We don't know how to express our gratitude for the prayers and fasting of family and frie...nds. We feel like that made all the difference in the world for Elva (she turned the corner last week and is healing fast) and it gave us peace and comfort when we were not sure what was going to happen. We feel so blessed that Elva is recovering well. Now I wish every sick kid in this hospital could be as lucky as us and could go home tomorrow

Rollercoaster ride of the PICU

Our beautiful little girl is in the ICU at the Calgary children's hospital since Sunday May 1oth - almost 6 whole days. She has been diagnosed with RSV bronchiolitis, another virus and a bacterial pneumonia. She is one sick little girl. She is on an oscillator and her oxygen saturations keep dropping. Her heart rate has been affected a bit as well. This week has been hell (and I never use that word). But it really has. I understand that things can be a lot worse and that people have been through so much worse in life, but this tops the challenges I have had in life. Enough of that. We keep positive.

Life in the ICU can be like riding a rollercoaster. Up and down, up and down. I know many people have gone through this experience. It isn't fun. Our emotions have been stretched in all directions. I feel good about how things are going one minute and then Elva's oxygen rate will drop or her heart rate will drop and we all (Nurses, Respiratory therapists, doctors too), hold our breaths and wait for things to recover and if they don't, the next action takes place. It is exhausting to say the least. As we get to know the staff here, we love them more and more. They are incredible people with a lot of knowledge, skill, optimism and you just know that they care about your individual situation even when they see so much sickness and trauma day to day.

We have been given a little room to the side of the PICU with 2 beds and a bathroom. We feel so blessed to have this room so that we can go see Elva whenever we want and we have a place to hideaway from the world when we need a break from the stress of watching Elva's numbers on the screen go up and down.

We feel blessed to live in Canada and to not have the worry of cost added onto the stress of the situation.

I have read blogs in the past of people who have gone through similar or worse situations with loved ones. I have a good imagination and sometimes I try to imagine what these people must feel and that can bring worry and anguish. I guess sometimes in life we have to experience it for ourselves. Going through hard experiences really does help you appreciate the good in life instead of just wanting more and more. And I don't really understand it right now but these experiences can make life have more meaning. Life is really full of meaning and sometimes we lose perspective in that sense.

It is tough seeing your little girl stuck under so many tubes, sedated and paralyzed. I sit by her and hold her little hand, hoping that my presence will help her in some way. She is so precious to me and it hurts to see her hurt. I love my little Elva Jean Bean so much and I want her to get better.

Caelebisms

Caeleb says the funniest things. Here are some to add to the record

We do not have child safe blinds in our house. The blinds we do have, have longs strings attached that we have to keep up and out of reach of the kids. I know I have been very paranoid about it and keep being stern with Chris about it. I didn't realize how paranoid until the other day when Chris was pulling up the blinds, Caeleb came to him and said, "Daddy, don't wrap the string around your neck." Thank goodness for Caeleb!

Caeleb loves to say "just a minute!" when I ask him to do something. I am pretty sure he has learned it from me and I am pretty sure he has no clue what a minute really is. He also likes to say, "Oh, Man!" Not sure where he learned that from. Maybe Primary?

So, I have not been feeling well these days - throwing up alot (For a reason that you may guess). We were out walking the other evening and I told Caeleb that we had to hurry back to the house as I felt sick. Caeleb asked "Why" I was sick.  I told him again that I was going to have a baby. A while later I came into his room to see him curled up on his bed and acting sad. He proceeded to tell me that he was sick and was "going to have a baby too."

The Never-ending Winter

Well it will be April in 2 days and we have not seen hardly anything of spring. I guess we did have a few days a couple of weeks ago where it was warm and the snow was starting to melt. Elva loved going out onto the back porch during that time. She was always saying "up" and then pointing to the door. Caeleb and her had a lot of fun playing in Caeleb's jeep and their playhouse on the porch. We got zoo passes and have spent a few days at the zoo on those warm days. The Elephants are leaving in April and Caeleb needs to get a good dose of his favorite animal before the 3 of them leave.

But, then it started snowing and the temperature started dropping again. As I look out Chris' office window right now, I see the snowflakes coming down. I think everyone in Calgary is ready for the spring. Our primary music conductor, sister Blum, today mentioned that she thinks the reason it is still cold and snowy is because of all the kids watching the movie "Frozen" and singing the songs from it. Caeleb, for one, loves that new movie. He could watch it everyday, several times even. He sings "Let it Go" and actually knows quite a few of the words.

Elva does not sing yet but she loves to dance. She will point to the radio in the living room and make her noises until we turn it on and she can start dancing to the music. I think she likes 80's music best. Already she loves to twirl in a dress. She has a smile to light up a room and she continues to be a very determined and strong-willed little girl.

We celebrated Dad's/Papa's birthday last week. All 11 of us were at the farm - well 12 if you include Nathan's good friend Barb. Mom prepared a yummy Turkey supper and German chocolate cake for dessert. Dad got some cozy warm slippers. Caeleb and Sterling sang happy birthday and helped Papa blow out the candles on his cake. It was a simple, peaceful, and wonderful day. I worked the night before so I was tired and not feeling well but nonetheless it was so good to be with family.

I guess I need to enjoy the winter while it lasts. We made a little snowman the other day and we have had some fun times sledding this winter. I love movie nights after the kids go to bed or curling up with a good book. I love sitting in the rocking chair in the living room and watching the snow come down or people walk by the house all bundled up in their winter clothes. I am looking forward to the spring but I do love the winter and its pure, fresh beauty as well.

Caeleb's first scripture and prayer in Primary!

Just a quick note to give an update on the kidlets. Caeleb gave his first prayer and scripture at church 2 days ago. He did an awesome job. Especially on the Scripture (we had been practicing). He repeated about every 3rd word I said for the prayer but when Chris helped him with the scripture, he went right up to the podium, blurted out "Heavenly Father" and then clearly repeated Moroni 10:18 as Chris whispered it into his ear. I am so proud of my little boy and his sprouting testimony. I want him and Elva to know of my strong and ever growing testimony in a loving Heavenly Father and Mother, a Savior and Atonement and an eternal purpose to our existence on this earth.

A quick note about Elva. She is getting big. Her vocabulary is "up, te (there), hi, nana, mama, dada, na (Nathan - she love him and waves at him when he comes and goes and she goes right up to him all the time for hugs and wants to go downstairs with him when he comes home from work). I put her hair up in pig tails (well at least the front straight part of her hair) last Thursday and I attempted to do it again on Sunday. She does not like them but they are adorable and I hope to have more successes in hair dos for my little girl in the future.

Chris and I were able to go to the Temple tonight. I have not been in about 6 months. It was wonderful and I think the thing I reflected on most was the fact that I do not need to keep beating myself up about my imperfections but that I can put the past in the past and use each new day as a clean slate to become more and more like My Heavenly parents and my Savior. I do not want to waste another day in the past. I want to live each day to the fullest.

Go Getter Elva

It seems like I have shared a lot in my blog about my Caeleb but not so much about my Elva so this post is all about her. I was talking to Camellia tonight about what Elva has been up to these days and it got me thinking about how Elva and Caeleb are different. I think she is more outgoing than he was at her age. She started walking in the middle of December just a week or so after she turned one years old. It did not take her much time to get the hang of it and now she toddles like the best of them. It is so cute to watch because she is so determined when she toddles around, proud, head high, shoulders back, swaying a little at times with the occasional fall but getting right back up and toddling some more. When Elva has her mind set on something, she does not like to give up until she gets her way. If she wants to get something on the table she will come to me and make noises until I pick her up. Then she points to where she wants to go and if I go the wrong way she squeals until I turn around and go back to where she wants me.

Elva's hair is adorable but hilarious at the same time.  She has a mess of cute little curls in the back but her hair in the front is as straight as can be. The color of her hair is light brown with a tinge of red depending on how the light shines on it. She weighed a little less than 20 lbs at her vaccination appointment on December 30th which is pretty small on the percentile charts but I love my baby girl being little and I am in no hurry for her to grow big. And her big personality certainly makes up for her little form. I love my snuggles and cuddles with my little bean. I love putting Caeleb to bed at 7:00 and then snuggling Elva up in a blanket and rocking her and singing to her until she falls asleep. I love those moments.

Elva is starting to make noises that are almost words. Her first actual two words were MaMa and Dada which she started to say around the time she turned one. She also says hi when talking on the phone. And when she plays cars, she pushes them around and says "voooommm vrooooom." I remember Caeleb doing the same thing. Now, I swear, she makes all sorts of noises that sound more and more like words each day. For example, Chris mentioned she said "Ox" yesterday when he was showing her a toy cow. We are teaching her where her ears and eyes and nose are and sometimes it seems like she will point and say what those are. It is not consistent but I know she is trying. She is a smart little thing.

I love watching Caeleb and Elva play together. Today was a great day for that (sometimes Caeleb just wants Elva out of the way but not today). We went out for a walk and Elva laughed so hard from the stroller when she saw Caeleb play in the puddles. And then they were playing "tag" and Elva got so excited when Caeleb starting running to her. They laughed so hard today running to and from each other.

Elva got a couple of dolls for Christmas and she is starting to be a "mother" to them. She picks them up and brings them to me so I can wrap then in a blanket (she makes sure I wrap them up or else she gets upset). Then she walks around with her wrapped up baby and she has a huge smile on her face. She also loves to talk on the phone and will want the phone when I am talking to someone, so that she can wear the biggest smile while saying "Hi" to whoever it is. (Then she pushes the buttons for a morse code effect and the majority of the time she hangs up on the person - but not intentionally I am sure).

Well, I guess that is enough for now even though I could on and on and on about my Elva. I love her so much and feel so blessed to be her mother and to have the opportunity to raise this beautiful daughter of God.

 

Out with the old year and in with the new.

Wow. It has been a long time since I have written. Not sure why. I have not been that busy. Well, my two little ones do keep me busy, that is true. But we live a simple life.  We do not do too much these days. Mostly spend our time at home playing inside now that there is so much snow outside. I started work in October and am only scheduled to work every other weekend but I pick up shifts here and there. It has been easier going back to work this time compared to when I went back after Caeleb.  Mom and Dad returned home from their mission on October 18th and it was an awesome reunion. We all met them at the airport except for Nathan and Doug who had to work. It was Elva's first time seeing her Nana and Papa and she warmed up to them fairly quickly. And Caeleb was excited to see them. We had an airplane count down up on the wall - 18 airplanes for the 18 days of October before we were to see them arrive on an airplane. It was fun to count off an airplane each day. Caeleb enjoyed that. It was so great to be able to Skype them while they were in Korea and Caeleb did not lose his close relationship with them while they were gone.

Chris and I celebrated our 4th anniversary on October 24 013. That weekend Mom and Dad watched the kids and we ventured up to West Edmonton Mall. It has been on my bucket list to spend a night at the Fantasy Land hotel and so we did in a Rome themed room with pillars and sculptures and a nice big hot tub. We also went to the Wave pool-waterslides there at the mall and we had a blast! I think my favourite was the tube ride that Chris and I could go on together. We splurged for a fancy supper of Lobster and Steak and enjoy a round of miniature golf after. What a relaxing weekend it was (Not every anniversary will be that luxurious but we will enjoy these memories for years to come).

Halloween was a fun event in our house. We dressed up as the Wizard of Oz. Elva was Dorothy, Chris was the scarecrow, Caeleb was the Lion and I was the Tin man. Caeleb really enjoyed trick or treating. He would knock on the door and say "trick or treat," and I would sing, "we're off to see the wizard..." Our neighborhood is full of children and I was surprised that we only got about 40 trick or treaters at our house.

November 11 was spent at the farm and Chris and I took Caeleb in for the Champion Remembrance day service and lunch. I love my home town of Champion and enjoyed being able to attend the services there. Remembrance day means so much to me and it makes me think of Grandpa and the sacrifices that have been made for our freedom.

Little Elva celebrated her 1st birthday on December 3rd. It is hard to believe that she is already a year old. This year has flown by. We enjoyed having Nana and Papa here for that. They brought us a tree that they got from tree hunting in the hills and we decorated it that weekend. I think a tradition I want to start is to give Elva an ornament for the tree every year for her birthday and then she can put it on the tree on her birthday.

Christmas was such a peaceful event this year. I did not feel rushed (even though my shopping was not done until a few days before) or pushed to buy buy buy. It was kept pretty simple. We had Chris' work party on Saturday Dec 21 and then we headed to the farm right after.  It was fun to spend it on the farm with all the family there (all 11 of us). We had a fire in the fire place most of the time and we went outside and took the boys for sled rides. A lot of snow this year! Caeleb and Sterling had fun waiting for Santa. They are totally into him this year and Caeleb likes to sing "Santa Claus is coming to town". Sterling likes to sing Jingle Bells. We put cookies out for him and set our stockings out. We also had a little program complete with a nativity story. Elva was Mary, Caeleb was Joseph, Sterling was a Sheppard (and perhaps he was the wise man too) and little Liam was baby Jesus. We did alright with the 4 kids.

New Years was quiet. Caeleb and Elva went to bed around 7:00 and then Chris and I watched 2 of the Back to the Future movies. I made it to midnight but found that hard to do as I was still recovering from 3 night shifts the weekend before.

2013 has been a wonderful year! So many blessings and a few challenges. I feel so blessed to have my family, Chris, Caeleb and Elva. I am excited to start a new year with them with new goals and lots of adventures.