January News (written Feb 6 2012).
We had some sad news this month. In the midst of the business of me staring work again in October and the continuing business of Chris’ school, we found out early November that we were expecting our second child. The 12.5 week ultrasound was Dec 9 and it showed a beautiful healthy baby moving around. More active than Caeleb was in his 12 week ultrasound. Chris and Caeleb were even able to see that ultrasound. We have been so excited to add to our family and felt so blessed to have a sibling for Caeleb close in age. However, on Tuesday Jan 17, one of the coldest days of the year, I felt like I should see the doctor for a check up. Don’t know why, no odd symptoms, just felt like I should see a doctor. He couldn’t hear a heartbeat and so I went for an urgent Ultrasound and we found out the baby died around 15 weeks. However, the baby will always be 17.5 weeks for me. I had no way of knowing anything was wrong. I have cried many tears and Chris a few as well but we feel blessed for all that we have. We have each other, Chris and I, and we have our little Caeleb who is such a joy in our life. And most important, even if we all had nothing else, we still have the gospel in our lives. Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ will always be there as our best friends no matter what happens in this life. I bore my testimony to my Young Women about this on February 5 as I feel that we all need to know that we have our Heavenly Father when everything or one may fail us at some point in our lives. He will always hear us and provide us with his tender mercies as answers for our sincere prayers. We can see these tender mercies everyday if we look for them.
I had a Dilation and Evacuation a week later on Jan 26. I ended up waiting all day Wednesday at the Foothills hospital day surgery to have my D and E but they sent us home and I ended up having it on Thursday morning. I was scared as it was my first minor surgery but Chris and Dad gave me a blessing and everything went okay. It was good to hang out with Chris those 2 days. He also took the day off when we found out the sad news and the day after. It is so great to be together and have each other. We watched, “it’s a wonderful life” while waiting in the hospital for the surgery. I also feel blessed to have that day and a half at day surgery as I was able to see other Nurses work and came to know that all Nurses have their good and not so good qualities and we all make silly mistakes in our work. The important thing is how we treat others. I was treated so well. It was a positive experience all things considering.
About a week after the D and E, a social worker called me from the Children’s hospital and said I “could come pick up my little girl.” I guess the little baby was a little girl and not boy. They can know for a surety through chromosome testing even when a DandE might jumble things up a bit and leave some things not intact. The chromosome testing done with the autopsy said it was a girl. Chris was a bit sad finding out it was a little girl – he sure wants a little girl to be his “daddy’s little girl”. But that will come too. And now we have our sweet memories of having had this special little girl in our life, thoughts and dreams, for a while. And I know that we will know that spirit and raise her in this life or the next, whatever Heavenly Father wills it to be. She will have a body again and we will be a part of her life. The lady at the Children’s said I could pick her up and bury her as we wish. She was in a little brown teddy bear box and I got to look at her and she was tiny tiny but beautiful too and I will always remember her tiny tiny tiny perfect foot. We named her little Lily Anne Watters and we are going to bury her under a memory tree at the farm that my dad picked out.
Life goes on, work and school go on and soon we will see what the next adventure is on our path as Chris graduates in a few weeks.
Caeleb is doing well. He loves to snuggle with mommy, daddy, Nana and Grandpa. And he loves to charge around the house in circles and sing and be the center of attention. He loves playing with other kids and when Stirling is around, he always seems to want to kiss him and sit on his head – silly little goo – can’t quite figure that one out. He makes his animal sounds pretty good now. Ruff, neigh, baaaa, cak (quack) are his favorites. Grandpa taught him some of those but still needs to teach him mooo. His hair is quite patchy. It is long in the back and sides and quite fuzzy and curly. In the front, however, it is strait and not much is there. We are seriously debating a first haircut for him but he does look so cute with his wild hair look.
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