Sacrifice

 Writing is therapy for me. I mean, I have gone to counseling several times before but writing helps me as well.  I am struggling and feel like I am having an anxiety attack. It is after 1000 and I can't go to sleep even though I know it would help. I feel like there is alot on my plate and I don't see an end in sight. I just see it getting worse as time goes on. I want to handle things better. I guess I will just write till I feel better. 

Lately I have been thinking about sacrifice. In the Temple, we make covenants (promises with God) to sacrifice for the building up of the kingdom. What does that mean? I think it means that we are willing to do God's will even if it is hard. Sacrifice is hard. I don't think sacrifice is just for this life as we, in the Temple, do proxy work for those who have passed on. Those individuals will have a choice to live those covenants too, obviously in the next life.  Covenants of obedience and sacrifice.

In the song "praise to the man" there is a line that says sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven. I honestly think the Celestial blessings are that of hard work, service and sacrifice, learning, growing in wisdom and being willing to share all your blessings with others. Sacrifice means doing something difficult for you to do in order to make life easier for others. For with that comes charity and charity and understanding must be some of the ultimate blessings. I can't fully explain it but I will keep pondering on it.  

Right now, I feel like I am sacrificing my sanity and maybe even my health; not necessarily by choice either. But I feel like even though it isn't by choice, I can choose to be willing in this sacrifice. I will try to explain better. 

I am trying to take care of a person who is really struggling (I won't say with what). I can't choose the situation that I am in, but I can be willing to sacrifice, knowing that, even though it is hard, my willingness will bring forth charity and understanding, even if it is not right away. 

The Savior performed the ultimate sacrifices. Because of his Atonement, we can continue to repent and move forward. We can be forgiven, change for the better and have second chances. Life will not end after this life because he willingly sacrificed his own life and then rose again. He is the ultimate example of sacrifice and I am so grateful for his example as I don't always know where to look for an example from people in my life. 

We learn from the Savior's example. We all sacrifice in this life. We sacrifice for our family and friends through giving time and service . It can be a blessing to do so in this life if we choose to let it be. Can it not be a blessing in the next? 

At my cousin's funeral this summer, her brother said he could picture his sister in the premortal world, offering to sacrifice and come home early, so that ALL her family could go back home to their Heavenly Father. That was her desire. I desire to be like that.

I am not perfect and am not always willing, but I desire to be, and that is a start. I will continue in that direction. 

I feel much better now. And I am getting tired. 

Goodnight.