A Good Day

Today was a good day. It wasn't without its' struggles. But it was a good day because I was able to be at home with all my kids all day. It was a bit of a battle trying to keep the kids away from the TV and video games and "Marios" (as Selman calls it) but we did a lot of house work and had a lot of time together. Caeleb vacuumed and help me put away the laundry and Elva helped Mary clean her room and they all played with Selman while I puttered around and tidied the house. Selman helped me sweep the floor (such a big helper - te he he). We all made cookies together. We all went outside and the kids jumped on the Trampoline while I played with Laddy. It was beautiful out, Wet, Mucky, but beautiful - and no wind. And we had a movie night together and watched Goofy Movie 2 while we ate chicken nuggets and popcorn in the living room. And Selman thought it was a fun idea to have a popcorn fight.

I want to be a better Mom. I have had some good talks with Caeleb and Elva in the last couple of days. I want to be there for them and I don't feel like I have been there for them lately. Almost for the last year really, as I have worked quite a bit out of the home and the work/mom balance has always been hard for me. Even when I am not working, I feel like I am recovering from shift work or anticipating another shift. It is hard to work evening shifts as I feel guilty when I am not around them and I am not so sure Chris has the same standards as we when it comes to structure and spiritual care in the kids lives. It is hard to work Sundays as I love my Sundays to go to church with my family and be with them all day. I gave a talk in church last Sunday about putting important things first and it is causing me to think about how I can help my children grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially and with all their many talents. I want them to feel of the hope that the gospel can bring. I want the Spirit with me and in our home. I want for all of us to develop a personal relationship with our Savior. I have been anxious lately - mostly about the pregnancy as per usual - but also about being the Mom that my children need. I want to be there for them at the crossroads in their lives (it was so good to be waiting for them at home after school yesterday, it seems like that does not happen enough), to be a friend, a confident, and a Mother that they can rely on and come too about any issue they may have. I am grateful that my mother was at the crossroads in my life. I am far from perfect but I love my children very much. I hope they know that.

I hope that Chris and I can make the right decisions with work and finances and that Chris can be provided with the right opportunities so that we can have a simple but good, balanced life, centered in the gospel.