Fall and Winter adventures - Boston and Beyond.

Well, the end of 2017 was very busy and full of amazing adventures. We spent Canadian Thanksgiving weekend at the farm and then I worked the Thanksgiving Monday - I traded with someone who wanted it off. Halloween was cold and rainy but the kids did get out for some good trick or treating in their costumes. Elva and Mary were Fairy Princesses and Caeleb was Aragon from Lord of the Rings. I love celebrating all the holidays with my kids and I do like Halloween (I like watching kid scary movies like Casper, Hocus Pocus and Goosebumps).
The kids and I spent November 11 at the farm making turtles. Camellia and Dad went to the Remembrance day service in Champion. Chris and I went to the kid's school Remembrance day assembly the day before. One guy played bag pipes and a teenage girl played the last post on her trumpet. I feel it is so important to Remember those who have sacrificed so much so that we can have our freedom. I hope my kids never forget to honor Remembrance day.
I had a tough shift the end of October where I had to send one of my patients to the ICU. I know I can not put the blame on myself and it all happened so fast (she went Septic) but I have a tendency of putting blame and stress on myself. That shift set me back and I was feeling discouraged. But I keep going back to work and I have had plenty of good shifts since then and I realize that there will always be more good days then bad and that I need to keep trying and trying and never give up. However, after that shift, my amazing - wonderful sister Camellia thought I needed some get away time and so she found a cheap ticket to Boston and sent me on my way there for 5 days - Thursday November 30th to Monday September 4th. Thank you so much Camellia!! On Thursday my flight left at 9:00 am and I flew from Calgary to Montreal and then ran through the airport to get on the plane to Boston. I arrived in Boston at 5:30 and my cousin Sarah picked me up at the airport. It was so good to see her and her family. Their house is beautiful (she is great at decorating) and the whole New England atmosphere is so appealing. We spent Friday touring downtown Boston, walking through the oldest park in America, walking many parts of the freedom trail, eating Cannolis in little Italy, learning about the Minute Men in the revolution, visiting a lot of ancient cemeteries and touring Louisa May Alcott's home in Concord.
Saturday, Sarah and I got up early and left the house for New York City at around 6:30 am. We went with 3 of Sarah's friends (her friend in Rhoda Island drove) and we were in New York around 1100. We drove by the Temple and took some pictures. We got some yummy cookies at Lavina's bakery. We parked a few blocks away from Central park (Cost was $53 for 12 hours) and we walked to the park from there. We did a Pedicab tour of the south 1/2 of central park (it was $30 per person if I remember right) and it was fun to have someone tell us about where the movie stars lived around central park and about the history of some structures in the park. We walked by the Plaza hotel (it was too busy to go in) and took the subway all the way under the strait to Brooklyn. We ate a yummy chain burger place in Brooklyn and then walked the Brooklyn bridge back to Manhattan (it probably took 45 minutes to walk the bridge and there were LOTS of people). We saw the statue of Liberty at a distance with the sun setting - it was beautiful. Then we took the subway north to Grand Central station and ate some banana pudding at a bakery called Magnolia. Then we did a lot of walking - walked to Macy's department store (lots of fun Christmas displays), past the Empire State building, to Saks department store (there was a fun light show on the side of Saks) and St. Patricks Cathedral across the street. The streets were so crowded! And it even got more crowded as we ventured into the Rockefeller plaza to see the big Christmas tree there. Then we walked another block or so to see the lights and crowds at Times square. We got pizza at Rays pizza which is near there. And I had to get a $2.00 hotdog (hotdog stands on every block). We then walked back to the Hotel that we parked at and left around 9:30. We got home around 1:00 am. I enjoyed my one day in New York. The shocking part of it was the crowds. There were many times in the evening when I thought I was lost from my group as the crowds pushed us in different directions. I am thinking that is a Christmas thing. I am so grateful that I have got to cross New York city off my bucket list!
Sunday, we went to 9:00 church and then took off to Rockport and Gloucester Mass. They are right on the coast of the Atlantic ocean. Gloucester is where the movie and book "The Perfect Storm" took place and Rockport is where much of "The Proposal" was filmed. It was my first time to the Atlantic ocean and I loved seeing the villages, beaches and lighthouses in the area.
We watched the LDS Christmas Devotional back at the Cole home. Sarah dropped me off at the airport around 6:30 the next morning and I flew to Toronto and then to Calgary (with a 2 hour delayed flight in Toronto). What a wonderful trip it was. It was so good to see my cousin and her family. But it was good to come home and see my family. I missed them. I am grateful for Mom and Camellia from watching Mary and Elva and for Chris and Nathan for watching Caeleb.
We celebrated Elva's birthday Wednesday December 6th after work (I am a horrible mom and was in Boston on her birthday December 3rd). We had a free pass to the flying Squirrel so we went there to celebrate and the kids loved that. Elva got a Barbie car and 2 barbies for her birthday (One from Aunty Camellia/Nana and Papa).
A week at home and 3 shifts later and we took off to Victoria at 4:00 a.m Monday morning (a few hours after my Sunday evening shift). The weather was beautiful in Calgary when we left and on the way out to Victoria. And since Chris was in an accident a few weeks before, the insurance company gave us a new Kia rental van for our drive out - free of charge - while our car was in the shop. What tender mercies we have seen!!! We even made it in time for the special Christmas Monday Watters get together. I have always wanted to go and it was fun to visit with family and eat yummy food. Chris spent the week working for the family company ( he is there IT guy). I entertained the kids and had fun visiting with relatives - we went to butterfly gardens - thanks LouAnn - we went downtown to the inner harbour and looked at a gingerbread house competition. We went out for supper downtown for Nathaniel's birthday and we went to the new Star Wars movie.
After 10:00 sacrament meeting on Sunday, we caught the 1:00 ferry. The weather was turning bad and we wanted to get on the road before we hit snowy weather. We slept at Chris' cousin Athena's house in Kamloops on Sunday night and ended up leaving at 4:30 on Monday morning as Mary got up early and was hard to settle. The roads were not great from Kamloops to Golden but we drove slow and got to Banff around 2:00. We stopped there for an hour for a Beaver tail treat (it was the kids first time to Banff and we had to take advantage of this Free 2017 year for national parks).
We got home around 4:00 and went straight to look at a new vehicle (They ended up writing off our vehicle the Saturday before and gave us until Thursday to give back our rental). I worked Tuesday and Wednesday day shifts while Chris went crazy on the vehicle search. We did find one at our local Kia dealership - 2012 Kia van, simple, yet roomy and just what we needed. The money we get for the Mazda from insurance will pay for the Kia and then we got a 3 year warranty on the Kia (as we had lots of fix ups with the Mazda and we did not want to chance that again). We picked up the van on Thursday just in time for Chris and I to go to the Nutcracker Ballet (Michelle gave us tickets as we have watched Max and Sebastian a few times this Fall). I am glad I got the opportunity to see a ballet. It was beautiful. Camellia and I used to go to sleep listening to Tchaikovsky's nutcracker. We ended the night with some wings and bubble tea at a favourite restaurant of ours on 16th ave - Bubblemania.
Well, I best end this now. I will continue writing about Christmas in a bit. I can hear the kids screaming upstairs.

Birthday Month

September is birthday Month in our home. Not all of our birthdays but Chris, Caeleb, and Mary and even some other family members have birthdays this month. Poor Chris doesn't get much of a birthday as Caeleb became his best and "last" (well, I guess he gets some small gifts) birthday gift 7 years ago.

Caeleb wanted a birthday party this year. So Camellia and her gang came up and helped with it. I made a pea shooter (from plants vs zombies) piñata days before, planned some games and Camellia tidied up the place while I was at work on the special day, Thursday September 14. When I got home we had Sterling, Liam, Porter Sebastian, Max, Lane (from Caeleb's class), Sydney (a neighbor friend) and of course Caeleb, Elva and Mary here for the party. We had the typical hot dogs, chips, watermelon, juice, etc, with a homemade (I tried at least) Lord of the Rings/Warhammer cake (with a gummy bear army) for dessert. Caeleb got some fun toys including a mechanical robot building set, a cool minion t-shift, pokemon cards and a Warhammer Tyranid start collecting set (which was expensive and so also a gift for Chris too). Chris got a lunch bag with the kids hand print on them and the day after I gave Chris a few hours of my time to learn more about his Warhammer models/game hobby. Thanks to Camellia for watching the kids. I can't believe Caeleb is 7. He is such a delight to have in our family. He is a great big brother to his sisters - very protective. He has a great imagination and loves to play by himself - Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc. He just runs around, points a wand at things, makes punching sounds and has a blast. He is well behaved at school and he loves to go there. He is quiet, happy and cooperative (well, most of the time -not so much at bedtime though).

Mary had her 2nd birthday on Tuesday September 19. It was simple. All she needed was her favourite food "pizza!", a little chocolate cake to get all over her face, a few balloons and some people singing happy birthday,to her to make her day special. She did get some puppets (that a nice family in the ward gave to us the other day) and the other kids put on a puppet show for her. Wow, Mary is 2. Not a baby anymore. She has a strong "I do it" personality. She loves balloons and bubbles, jumping on the trampoline, singing the ABCs and Mr. Sun, and counting (she even counted to 10 the other day - I could barely believe it). She has started to recognize some colors and she is a talking quite a bit and will ramble on and on at times in gibberish but says a lot of small coherent sentences too.

Well, I best be going. Chris and I are playing a Warhammer game before bedtime. (Chris is lucky to have me to play these 2-3 hour long games). Should be fun and I love to see Chris' face light up when he gets excited to do something.

Summer 2017

This summer went by fast. They always do. But it felt like a good complete summer and we were all ready to move into the Fall. Here is an overview of Summer 2017.

 

Lets just begin by saying that it was a hot, dry summer - all summer long. Probably only rained 2 or 3 days. The land is parched and wild fires have ravaged much of BC and even down in Waterton this last week (luckily not much was damaged at that wonderful place and the Nelson family did not have to be evacuated even though a lot of their community was).

 

Much of the summer was spent with Chris trying to finish up his math classes online at Athabasca University. It was stressful year as Chris studied math classes that he found difficult. In July, we were unsure he would be able complete his classes and we thought we may have to wait a year for him to go to the University of Calgary (U of C). But in the end, we experienced a big tender mercy and he did not need one of the math classes and so was able to get into the elementary education program at the U of C. (His target was the secondary education program but one of his math classes that he needed for it did not go well). Long story short, he is now at the U of C entering his 3rd week there and he is really enjoying it (he even gets to take an Institute class to get free parking). I loved my university days and I feel a little envious at times. But I would not trade my mom role for anything!

 

Let me rewind a bit as I forgot to mention something I did in May. Camellia, Aunt Marilyn and I ran a 10 km race in Fort McLeod. Aunt Marilyn is a great runner. It was actually easier than I thought it would be and I am definitely game to do it again - maybe even a half marathon - next year. I love to run. It makes me feel so good inside!

 

Since then, I have not been doing much running. In fact, I have been feeling too sick to run. Can you guess why?.. Yep, baby number 4 is on the way and due the middle of March 2018. I found out on July 15. We went downtown to the stampede that day. Since we were there early, we got plenty of pancakes and bacon and we even got a pass for the whole family to ride around downtown in a horse pulled wagon. We rode down into rope square and around by the river. It was a blast, except that I was feeling a bit queasy so I took a test that day and it was positive. Of coarse I am nervous as every even pregnancy I have had has ended in a miscarriage around the 17-18 week (#2 and #4) and this would be that pregnancy (#6- if going by the pattern) but we are keeping positive and we would love to add this little one to our family.

 

Okay, back to the summer. We spent July 1st down at the farm and in Champion. It was mom's birthday so I made a Korean feast which we ate on the floor (as they do in Korea). I thought it turned out pretty good. We went swimming in Champion and we went on the early morning walk around Champion and had breakfast there.  Nathan put on a fireworks show that evening at that farm for Mom and to celebrate Canada day. He did a great job!

 

On Friday July 7th, the kids and I made a quick trip down to Mountain View so I could see The Music Man with Mom and Dad at the Carriage House Theater. It was our birthday gift. I then worked Saturday and Sunday. Monday was my birthday. Chris' parents were at our place that weekend and we took the kids to swim at Sicome lake on Monday and then the parents treated us to Chinese food and Blizzard cake from Dairy Queen.

 

The kids and I spent a few days at some lakes in the area. A couple of friends invited us to Mahogany lake a couple of times. We went to Little Bow lake with Mom one Saturday and we went to Mckenzie lake with another friend on another day. The kids did swimming lessons the second week in August at the champion pool. Mary and Porter had their own private lessons too. All the kids enjoyed their swimming lessons there and I hope that they can continue having them in Champion for many summers to come.

 

Camping consisted of our June ward campout in High River, another ward campout west of Nanton that happened beginning of June (It was with the Inverness ward and we were invited by friends). We only last until 4:00 in the morning at that campout as I was not prepared and it was sooo cold and I had to work later that same day so I needed a good rest. The kids and I also set up the tent in our back yard and camped outside one night.

 

August 12 (Saturday) was spent going to a ranch near Cochrane so I that could go on an hour long trail ride (Chris' gift to me for my birthday). I had so much fun and could have ridden all day. I love riding horses and one day I would love to get my kids a horse.

 

The Nelsons joined us August 14 at Calaway park. The kids had a blast (I think the favourite was the log ride) but it started to rain halfway through the day and we ended up having to go home. How funny that it chose to rain that day when it has been so dry out.

 

Camellia, Mom and I served at our friend TerryLynn's wedding reception at the Waterton lds church on August 18th. It was a beautiful reception and we were glad to help. The next day Chris took me to Phantom of the Opera at the Jubilee auditorium for an early anniversary gift. It was amazing and we had a fantastic time! I must say, even on a tight budget, we have managed to spoil ourselves this summer.

 

We headed off to Victoria on Tuesday August 22 after a late night of work the evening before. Chris did a great job driving and the kids did really good at staying calm in the car. We sang songs, listened to Phantom of the Opera and Disney music and watched a few movies on the laptop. We enjoyed the ferry ride like we always do. The kids had fun running around on the decks outside. We enjoyed our time being with family in Victoria. We went downtown to the inner harbour, had fish and chips at fisherman's warf, and went to the breakwater. We went on a hike with Jarad and his girlfriend. I went on a walk with my sisters in law and we had a games night. I love going to the island. I love the smell of the ocean. I love being around family. We came back to Calgary on August 30th so I could do my CPR class and have an ultrasound on the 31st. It was a good trip and I wish we could go more than once a year but we will take what we can get.

 

We watched Max and Sebastian 4 days a week this summer (Chris watched them on the days that I worked). The little extra money has been nice. It did limit us to what we could do as our van does not fit all the kids. We would spend the mornings at our house coloring and playing and then after lunch and clean up, the kids and I would walk across Copperfield and spend the afternoon at the Islas home (playing those darn video games but also playing outside too). There were some hot days this summer and walking across Copperfield with 5 kids was a chore.

 

And now we are back into school. Chris and the kids started on Tuesday September 5. Caeleb was excited to go to grade 2 - his school is 8:20 to 3:20. Elva has been a little hesitant about kindergarten but she has been doing great. She goes in the afternoon from 1230 - 3:20 and then it is Mary and me time. While Mary naps, I do things like work on my blog and tidy the house. Well, Mary will wake up soon so I think I will try to get some laundry done before then. I will catch you up on September birthdays later.

 

 

 

 

Spring 2017

The Spring has come and gone and now we are well into summer. In my last post I mentioned that Elva had her Mahogany preschool Graduation on June 17. Caeleb's last day of Grade 1 with Ms Feltham at Copperfield school was Wednesday June 28th. He spent his last 3 days of school learning how to rollerblade for gym class. How fun! Also, Caeleb and his class went to the Zoo at the beginning of June and Elva and her class went on a field trip to Butterfield acres. I am proud of both kids and all they have accomplished this year with their schooling. Caeleb is becoming a good little reader and writer - he loves to write and illustrate his own little books. Elva has become good at patterns and counting numbers.

Caeleb lost his first 2 teeth in June. It was really interesting. The adult teeth had been coming in behind the baby teeth so he had 2 sets of teeth for what seemed like a few months. Those 2 front bottom baby teeth wanted to keep holding on and I even tried tying some floss around them to pull them out which loosened them more and they both fell out soon after. Of course he left them under his pillow for a visit from the tooth fairy and he got a toonie per tooth so he is getting rich.

Mary is talking so much now. Her language took off in April I believe and she has been repeating everything everyone says. Shoe was one of her favorite first words and she loves to get her "shoes" on and go "owsi" (outside). She says so much now and is speaking short sentences - "les go (Lets go), Come on, eat, peas (please), tankoo (thank you). And she sure knows the word No! She says that one and stomps her foot when she does not want to do something. She is an opinionated little girl and like most 1 year olds, she wants to be outside exploring all the time. Oh, and she just learned to say her age. When asked how old she is, she say "un" (one).

We are watching Max and Sebastian Tuesday to Friday this Summer from 7:30 to 5:15 which makes for a long day and really limits us to staying at home as we do not have enough seats in the van but I guess we do not have much money anyways, so we best stay at home so as to not spend money. The kids play pretty well - with the standard daily fight or two or three. But Sebastian and Caeleb are best friends and they all do have fun together - even Mary tries to keep up and toddles after them as fast as she can go. I am not sure if  we will have more kids so I need to enjoy this time with these 5 kids running around. I can hear them all playing downstairs right now and I am going to miss this someday - it really is a busy beautiful sound!. And now I hear Mary crying so I got to run. Until next time.

To the Men in my life

Well, when I wrote my "shout out to women" post, I said that I would write about Fathers day and that was almost a month ago but it has been on my mind. I think my thoughts may flow better if I just start writing. I hope Chris had a good Fathers Day. It was Elva's preschool graduation the day before and Nana and Papa came up for that. Elva looked so cute in her graduation cap ( I did take pictures but can not upload them here as it is tricky to do). They sang "Down by the bay where the watermelons grow" and "where or where has preschool gone." Elva had two amazing teachers who went above and beyond with their class. She had 8 classmates. Afterwards, I took the kids to the farm so that Chris could study a little and then have the evening to himself to do whatever he wanted. He has been working so hard and I wanted to give him some time to relax. We came back on Sunday after going to Sacrament meeting in Champion. I had to teach Relief Society. Then we had supper and an evening as a family. We went for a long walk discovering new paths around Copperfield.

I am so grateful for my husband Chris. Sometimes I have my eyes down and it is hard to see past the bumps and curves in life's road but when I do look up, I see forever and I see Chris. He is part of that forever and that makes complete sense to me even when I have a hard time making sense of the here and now. I am grateful for Chris' christ like example. For is optimism. For his perseverance. For the love that he has for his children. For his unconditional love for me. I would feel lost without him!

I am grateful for my dad. For his christ like example, his quiet goodness, his steadfastness to doing what is right, his simple yet strong unwavering faith, his love for his Grandkids.

I am grateful for my brother, for his love of life, his love of new hobbies and adventures. For his ability to be an amazing uncle/second dad to the kids.

I am grateful for my father in law Gary, for his love of life. He always has a twinkle in his eye and is always laughing and enjoying the present.  And we always love listening to his stories.

I think some things that these men have in common is that they don't waste time fretting about the future but they enjoy the moment to the fullest. They don't compare themselves to others, they don't spend time thinking about regrets, they just move forward and they are okay being who they are. I admire these attributes and want to do better applying them in my life.

I know that Fathers day is important. There are some amazing men in the world and they need to know how amazing they are!

 

A shout out to Women

Mothers day was last Sunday. I worked an evening shift but I felt blessed that 4 out of my 6 patients were women and I hope that I was able to help them feel a little better on their special day. It was a good day!

I am so grateful for my Mother. She is an incredible example to me and I love her so so much! She is the best mother and grandmother anyone could have.

I want to share something that has been on my mind lately which actually concerns women. Growing up I always felt that as a woman, I was less than a man. Nothing in my past would have led to those thoughts. I have a wonderful father and brother. Perhaps it was because I did not date much in High School and University and I always seemed to see  guys dating who they wanted because it was the guy that chose who and what he wanted.  I guess I just thought there were less guys out there and that they were entitled to what they wanted and that they did what they wanted to and life was easier for them and  consequences did not matter as much to them. I know that is not true but for some reason that way of thinking has been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. Those thoughts have been even more of a struggle to me when I have seen many women have to be strong as they face many challenging circumstances in life. This "guy complex" that I seem to have has controlled my thoughts at times. But I am learning to and trying to control my own thoughts and make them positive ones!

So I will put my lack of understanding away for now realizing that all my questions will be answered someday and my sense of imbalance will one day be made right. For now, I will focus on the good. And this week, that good is centered on the women in my life. In a few weeks, on Fathers day, it will be centered on the men in the world. For now, here is my shout out to Women:

Thank you...

To the woman who keeps trying better even when she makes mistakes

To the woman who forgives others even when it is hard and life doesn't make sense

To the woman who lets her emotions drive her down a positive path in life

To the woman who tries to be less critical and more accepting

To the woman who keeps trying and keeps trying...

To the woman who fights for what she believes in

To the woman who is graceful when faced with obstacles

To the woman who has to raise her family by herself

To the woman who has to face this life alone right now

To the woman who has puts her hopes and dreams on hold in order to support the dreams of another

To the woman who cares for and does so much for her husband even when it does not seem to be returned

To the woman who cares for and does so much for her children or nieces and nephews, or others when it does not seem to be returned

To the woman who leaves her children in order to work outside of the home when she would rather not

To the woman who sacrifices money and other things to be at home and be at the crossroads of her children's lives

To the woman who is scared and confused but continues to move forward during challenges

To the woman who supports her family through their challenges as is able to put her challenges aside to do so

To the woman who has goals and works to accomplish them even when life is hard

To the woman who works day after day in the home creating a place of love and security

To the woman who comes home after a day of work and has to keep working in the home to keep it from falling apart

To the woman who makes up the difference when others do not know that it needs to be made up

To the woman who goes the extra mile

To the woman who is sensitive and caring and can put herself into another's shoes

To all the women out there...

Thank you for doing all you do and for being who you are!

 

Mini Vacations

Life is busy and stressful at times. But every once in a while we get a little escape from the craziness of reality. Chris just got back from a one and a half day mini vacation to Las Vegas. The kids and I picked him up at the airport after church today. This vacation was to celebrate Chris Father's birthday. We love our Grandma and Grandpa Watters - they are such wonderful people! I am happy that Chris could help celebrate a milestone for Gary. Chris and 4 of his 5 siblings flew to Las Vegas to walk up and down the Strip, go gun shooting at a famous gun place and have an expensive, elaborate steak dinner at the Paris hotel. They planned this a few weeks ago and I will tell the truth by saying when I first heard about it I thought to myself "okay...wait, what the...!" I have been feeling a little bit of the weight of the world on my shoulders these days and sometimes tears are close. Spending money on an expensive dinner in Las Vegas did not really lessen my stress. Starving student phases in life are hard and I feel like I can not seem to get out of them. But, I love my husband, and I love the Watters family and I have to keep my emotions at bay and my thoughts simple. I keep telling myself that. Sometimes life doesn't really make sense but I know that I will go through many times in life where everything will make sense and life will seem easy and I will look back on tough times as small learning moments and I will wonder why I thought they were a big deal. I keep telling myself this too. And I move forward.

Now to talk about another mini vacation. This one involved the whole Smith family. Thank you for making this happen Mom. I used our petro points to book a few hotel rooms at the Sheraton Cavalier in NE Calgary the first Friday night in March. We stayed at this hotel when I was a little girl on New Years eve and it brought back fun memories. It has a nice waterpark with 2 fun waterslides, a kiddie pool, hot tubs and a sauna. We went swimming for hours Friday evening and Saturday morning. We had a pizza party and we went exploring in the hotel with the kids. Mary loved the elevators and went up and down and up and down. Mom brought muffins for breakfast and after swimming some more, we checked out on Saturday at 1100 and went down the road to Chuck E Cheese for an hour so that the kids could play. Then mom and dad treated us to Korean food at an authentic Korean restaurant on McLeod trail. I may never be able to go to Korea but I sure do enjoy the food that they have there. I think it takes mom and dad back to their mission days in Seoul.

Well, life is good. Caeleb and Elva are on Spring break this week and the weather is great. Maybe Spring is here to stay. It feels like it has been a hard winter with the cold spells and snow but it has not been too bad so I can not complain. I work a few days this week but I hope the weather stays nice and the kids and I can enjoy walks to the park and maybe around Fish Creek park. We shall see. Chris will be studying this week. The more studying the better. I am looking forward to General Conference this weekend. I look forward to listening to the uplifting messages twice a year. We are also looking forward to Jared and Landon's visit in a few weeks. Life is good.

Tender Mercies

I am a bit emotionally drained right now but I still want to write about something that has been on my mind. I have been pondering on the concept of tender mercies for the last 6 months or so. Elder Bednar spoke on this topic several years ago during conference. Through the challenges that we have had in life, Chris and I have learned to focus more on the tender mercies, using them to strengthen our testimony about the purpose of life when it gets a little hard.

Last Sunday Chris bore his testimony in church on tender mercies and it really touched me. My visiting teaching partner has a sick little boy the same age as my Mary - just 2 days older I believe so it hits a little close to home. Our Ward family has been praying for this family and emotions were strong in testimony meeting that day. Chris shared an experience that I had not thought about in a while. When Elva was sick in the PICU, we were unsure if we would be bringing her home. I was pregnant at that time, about 14 weeks along. On Elva's sickest day, I was so worried and wanted to make sure that the baby I was carrying was okay as I felt that my stress would affect the baby. The staff at the PICU could see my stress and were very empathetic and supportive. They offered to do a portable ultrasound on me in the PICU but when doing so, they could not see a heartbeat (It was a poor quality ultrasound, not used for obstetrics and they could not see much at all). I was panicking at that point and raced to a nearby walk-in clinic to get a second opinion. The doctor there could detect a strong heartbeat and I was instantly relieved. A week after Elva came home from the hospital, I went for a regular check up on our about 17 week along baby and after a heartbeat could not be detected, an urgent ultrasound was done and we found out our baby had died. Chris mentioned this experience as a tender mercy in his testimony last week. One might think that how could it have been a tender mercy if we ended up loosing our baby in the end. But I agree with how Chris explained it. Would it not have been worse to know that we had lost one child and could loose another one at any time. How blessed I feel that that little baby held on until we knew Elva was okay. I absolutely know that we can see tender mercies in any situation in life as long as we look for them!

I also know that we can see small tender mercies everyday as long as we take the time to look for them! They may be so small they can easily go unnoticed, but they are real and they are there. They are like little hugs from our Heavenly Father to let us know that he is real and is watching out for us. I have been watching for them and have seen them more frequently as I have intently looked for them lately. A few months ago, I was having a bad day at work and feeling like a crummy nurse. I silently prayed to Heavenly Father to let me see a tender mercy that day. Not long after, a co-worker came up to me and gave me a big hug saying "I love you Katherine." It was so unexpected and not like her at all. But I feel that it was inspired and it completely turned around my day.

Another tender mercy experience is one that I shared in my last post but I am going to repost it here as well:  Working Christmas was tough but I made sure to look for tender mercies! We went to Sacrament meeting on Christmas day and then the kids and Chris dropped me off at work. The kids sang Frosty the snowman to some patients including one grumpy old man who not only let the kids sing but he smiled at them too (and trust me, that is from a guy who swears at the nurses all the time). I believe the Christmas spirit had a lasting effect on him and that is a tender mercy for him and for me to witness it.

We may overlook some tender mercies as coincidences or everyday occurrences. But I honestly believe that if we see them as tender mercies, they become tender mercies and we can see more of the workings of Heavenly Father and the hand the Lord in our lives. And how much happier can we be if we choose to live with purpose, believing and knowing that a Heavenly Father has his hand in our lives and has a plan for our existence.

 

Christmas 2016

Well, I better write about Christmas 2016 before I forget all about it. It was a simple Christmas but sometimes simple is better. Elva celebrated her birthday on December 3rd and she got an American girl lego horse stable set that I have since put away for her to play with when she gets older (I guess I was more excited about it then she was - too many small parts). It was a busy day. Mom and Dad came up to see her preschool Christmas concert (they sang songs - like little snowman - and made gingerbread houses) Chris and the kids went to see the movie Trolls that afternoon while I cleaned the house with Mary. And we had our ward Christmas party that night which was great as usual. The kids sat on Santa's knee - Mary was not a fan but what do your expect from a 1 year old right.

We got our tree from the Mckenzie town lot the first weekend in December (was about $60 and we were supporting two guys with cancer who drove those trees out from Nova Scotia). I love decorating the tree with my family and putting out the nativity sets. We went to the nativity pageant the week before Christmas at Heritage park and that brought a special spirit to the season. I hope that we can continue that tradition in our family.

Because I worked Christmas evening and Christmas day evening (Saturday and Sunday), we spent the weekend before that at the farm. We had our Smith family Christmas program and the kids acted out the nativity as per tradition. We made Gingerbread houses and had appetizers and played games and watched Christmas movies. The kids drew names this year and got their person a gift. I think they got more into the giving aspect of Christmas this year and were not too much about the getting part. I do want to record some of their gifts as to remember what their interests were at this age. Caeleb got Ghostbusters lego and night vision goggles, Elva got doll clothes and little plastic mermaids. Mary got baby treats. It was the year of the games. We got the Bop it game, the Star Wars operation game and the Pie in the Face game and that is one we really enjoy as a family.

Working Christmas was tough but I made sure to look for tender mercies! We went to Sacrament meeting on Christmas day and then the kids and Chris dropped me off at work. The kids sang Frosty the snowman to some patients including one grumpy old man who not only let the kids sing but he smiled at them too (and trust me, that is from a guy who swears at the nurses all the time). I hope the Christmas spirit had a lasting effect on him.

The week after Christmas as well as New Years Eve was spent with Chris cramming to read Great Expectations and another book and complete 2 essays for English. I was proofreading his work at 1130 pm before he sent it in just before the midnight deadline on New Years Eve. We were too busy talking about his essay to welcome in the New Year. Poor guy, he sure is working hard though and it is paying off. Lindsey and I took the kids over to Michelle's house for a few hours that evening to play games and hit a piñata with Max and Sebastian. They really had fun with that. They were in bed by 1000 that night.

Chris made Valentines day so special this year. He surprised me by taking me to the play Peter Pan in Cardston. Thanks Camellia and Doug for watching the kids! We had fun walking by the Cardston temple and downtown and then we ended up at the Carriage House Theater and I had no idea that that was where we were headed. How fun! I made our traditional scor truffle for Valentines day. I am all about little traditions.

Well, we are almost to March now. I have had a rough couple of months with work (the anxieties are getting to me once again and I find work a bit of a rollercoaster ride going on ups for a few months and then downs for a few months) but with the love and support of some coworkers and with some phone counselling suggested by my manager, I feel like I am back on track again with my confidence at work. I do love being a nurse and count my blessings every time I go to work. I am so blessed to have such a good job!!!
Okay, so I need to write about a random ironic parenting moment that happened last Thursday. I have been slacking on combing Elva's hair daily as she hates it so much and it is a fight each time we try. Chris is usually the one to get it done - what an amazing husband. Elva usually goes about with wild and crazy hair (which is still growing back from the 2 times she cut it in September). Well, today I combed her hair all nice and put it up in a scrunchy and off we went to her preschool. Lo and behold, it was crazy hair day at preschool so when I noticed the other crazy hairdos, I quickly back combed her hair with my fingers to get her hair back to looking crazy again. It just had to be that day. How funny is that! It reminds me of when I forgot about Caeleb's Halloween party when he was in preschool. I hadn't even finished making his elephant costume yet. When I realized that he was the only one not dressed up, we quietly slipped away back to home and I know I called up my mom, crying and feeling like a horrible mom - Caeleb was fine though. Oh, those funny parenting moments - I suppose most of us have them and it is part of life.

Well, the kids are all over me now and I need to enjoy moments like these while I can so until next time...

 

Fall - My Favourite time of year!

It has been a beautiful Fall. I feel so happy right now. I think part of it is because I love the Fall. The leaves are almost done falling off the trees and are sprinkling the ground with red, yellow and orange colors. The air is crisp. We have had a couple of snowfalls but they only lasted a few days and there is no snow on the ground now. The Fall holds a lot of important events for us. Let me update you all on the Watters' life this Fall.

Caeleb started grade one at the brand new Copperfield school at the beginning of September. It is a 10 minute walk away on a path going around a beautiful pond. Chris walks him there in the morning (school starts at 8:20) and I take the other kids and pick him up in the afternoon at 3:20. He is doing so well at school. He is starting to read simple books and he loves to write his own simple books that have to do with his favourite things - Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings (he doesn't read or watch the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings but he plays some Lego computer games with Chris) and tonight he wrote the Jungle book with pictures and words too. He likes Math and Science as well. When I have taken the kids to the park by the pond, sometimes Caeleb is out with his school class for recess. Kind of fun to see them and have him close during the day.

Elva started preschool. She is going to Mahogany preschool which goes from 9:00 to 11:00 on Tuesday and Thursdays and is run by two Moms in our ward. There are only 9 kids (mostly from our ward) and it is a little more affordable than other preschools which helps when we are on a tight budget ($160 a month as opposed to Caeleb's $200/month preschool). Elva likes to do the crafts and she seems to like her classmates.

At 13 and 1/2 months, Mary is walking! She has been cruising on furniture for a few weeks now. She took her first step by herself a couple of days ago and today she took about 5 steps by herself several times throughout the day. Soon she will be running and there will be no stopping her. She crawls up and down the stairs like a pro and just started opening up cupboards and pulling things out and making big messes so life just got even more busy. She picked up something the other day and pretended it was a phone saying "I...I" (for Hi). She has about 6 teeth and we love her big toothy grin and her cute little giggles. She also likes to put things in her mouth - even more than the other two did if my memory serves me right. And she has had her share of tumbles. She tumbled head first off of Mom and Dad's kitchen couch a few months ago, she somersaulted head first down our stairs a few weeks ago, and yesterday she fell off of our bed. But she is a tough little girl!

Chris is busy busy with school. I feel for him. It has been a rough go and the classes are hard. I have mentally prepared myself that this school journey may take a bit longer than originally anticipated but I still hope that that might not be true and that we will keep on schedule. But we will get there no matter how long it takes.  I hope I can be a good support for him as he carries a heavy load.

I started work again on October 3rd and I have felt many prayers come my way. They have helped so much! This time around I was extra anxious to start work again but it is going  well so far and while this work, family, school  juggling act is stressful, it is definitely doable. I feel so very blessed for my job and I know I can do it!

Chris and I went 'temple hopping' again for Chris' birthday (September 14)/our Anniversary (October 24). We went to Billings Montana September 23 and 24 and did a session at the temple there on the Friday. Mom and Dad have been there before and that is where we got the idea. The temple is central to our Marriage. Chris started us on a temple hopping journey for our Honeymoon and now it has become a special thing for us to do. When life starts to not make sense, the temple helps to bring perspective back to our marriage and family. We are working for something eternal here and the temple helps us remember that when life's stumbling blocks come around.. We used our petro points to stay in a hotel in Billings. We also enjoyed the hot tub at the hotel, eating out, and the beautiful scenic drive 6 hours both ways. Thanks to Mom and Dad for watching Mary and Camellia and Doug for watching Elva and Caeleb. We got back Saturday evening in time for me to watch Women's conference in Mountain View and we went to church with Mom and Dad on Sunday in Champion. Chris and I hope to make it to the Regina temple in the next few years as well as several in Utah. (Temples we have been to so far  - we were counting them on our drive - Cardston, Calgary, Edmonton, Billings, Vancouver, Spokane, Tri-cities, Portland, Seattle, Salt Lake, Provo, Rexburg - just me - Idaho Falls, Nauvoo, Guayaquil, Oakland - just Chris - Toronto, Jordon River, Manila, Palmyra). We hope to add many more temple visits in our lifetime. Our actual 7th anniversary was on Oct 24. We had our traditional Lasagna and Moose Tracks ice cream supper (the meal we had on our first date). It was a simple but great evening.

September Birthdays were good. We had an  (attempted) Harry Potter Hogwarts/Lord of the Rings cake for Caeleb and Chris' birthday  on the 14th and Caeleb got some generic lego and some pieced together Harry Potter lego figurines done by Elva. He got his Halloween Harry Potter costume from the Nelsons, a cool little Elephant figurine from Grandma and Grandpa Watters that moves when light shines on it and some money from Nana and Papa. Mary had a chocolate cake for her 1st birthday on the 19th which she dug into with her face like it was no ones business. She got the Zoo set that has been passed along in our family and seemed quite satisfied about that. What am I doing going on about gifts. I probably missed mentioning some gifts but I will fill them in when I remember. Thanks to everyone who made these days special.  I can not believe I have a 6 year old Caeleb and 1 year old Mary.

Halloween was fun. I worked the 2 evenings before and when I came home at midnight, I worked on my procrastinated project which was cutting 2 scarfs up and piecing/sewing them together to make Caeleb and Elva each Gryffindor scarfs to go with their costumes. They were the most adorable Harry Potter and Hermione and Mary was the cutest little Hedwig owl. It was a fun night trick or treating around the neighborhood - great weather too!

Well, life is great. I am sitting at our table, listening to Chris read Harry Potter to the kids up in their bed (well, the noise has since stopped so I think they may all be asleep). I have been blessed. Until the next post them...

Summer of 2016

Well, the summer is almost done. And being that I am using this as a journal right now, I think I will sum up all the fun we have had in the last couple of months. I don't want to forget it. It really has been a good summer. Chris started his studies the beginning of June and has been working hard on those. I am so proud of him and how hard he works. I was right in thinking that it will not be easy for him and our family, but he is studying hard and we are working on balancing study time, family life, finances, etc and we will make this work! I love him so much and would be lost without him. I hope he knows that.

I spent the summer watching Max and Sebastian on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and sometimes other days, along with my 3 kids. We mostly were over at their place as my friend Lindsey and her cat lived at our place June until beginning of August and Sebastian is allergic to cats. It was fun watching my kids play with Sebastian and Max. They are all such good kids. We could not all fit in the van so we mostly played in their house and at the nearby park. It has been such a blessing in our lives to watch these two boys.

July 1st found us at the farm with our Smith family. Mom's birthday is that day and I hope she had a good one. We went to a cousin's wedding reception in Lethbridge that night (Gennie). The next weekend, for Camellia and my birthday, Doug and Chris gave us a night in Waterton. We went out to eat and stayed at a hotel. It was wonderful to spend time with my Twin sister. She and I are so close and I am so grateful for her. She has helped me through a lot of rough times.

Chris, Lindsey and I took the kids to the Stampede grounds for kids day. We had the 5 kids (Max and Sebastian along with our 3) so it took the 3 of us to control the kids on the crowded train and stampede grounds. We had fun at the kids morning grandstand show, dog show and motorbike show. Even though kids days is busy, I like to go as it is free and I like to do something Stampedish every year. I also like to go downtown for the rope square pancake breakfast, stampede show and square dancing but that didn't happen this year.

July 21-24 was the Selman family reunion at Payne lake lodge by Mountain View and it was so wonderful! I love my Selman family and I do not get to see some of my cousin's, Aunts and Uncles very often. We had a blast visiting, going hiking, berry picking, swimming and visiting some more. We had a talent show and played games. We were sad that Uncle Ken was not able to be there as he passed away in February of this year. His wife Sandy and their 3 children came and it was good to visit with them. Even though Uncle Ken was not physically there, I know he was there in spirit. It brings peace to know that families are forever and that there is life after this life. This weekend was such a special time and I wish we could have a Selman family reunion every year.

Wednesday August 3rd we slowly made our way out to Victoria for our annual Watters family visit. We stopped at Lindsey's cabin on the Shuswap lake for Wednesday night and it was so worth the 2 hours out of the way travel on gravel roads to get to the very remote location. It was beautiful! We swam, had a bonfire and made smores and Lindsey's dad took us on a boat ride to a floating store. I really hope we can go again.

We made it the rest of the way to Victoria on Thursday. The Ferry ride is always a highlight for the kids. They like the playroom and the game room. The ocean is beautiful. I love the sights, smells and sounds and wish I could go out there more then once a year. But, it is expensive to ride the ferry and we are students at the moment. We spent the time visiting with family. Thank you LouAnn and Gary for letting us stay at your place. Rachel, Wendy and I had a great walk and talk around Elk lake. There was a BBQ at Rachel and Eric's nice spacious home. Rachel should be an interior designer. We had a game night there as well. Chris studied a lot at a local library during the day but we did manage to get out on a date to the breakwater. We also took the kids to Mount Doug. LouAnn and I took the kids up to Nanimo to visit Aunt Mary. I have not seen her in while so it was fun to see her. And I had some good talks with LouAnn. We started our journey back on Saturday and camped at the Hidden Valley campground by Salmon Arm (we stayed there a few years ago with Camellia and Nathan). We got up early on Sunday and made it back by 3:00 to finish church in our ward. We also had time to stop at the Calgary temple to walk around the grounds with the kids. I hope they learn to love the temple as much as I do.

Jared and Landon came to visit us around August 17th to 19th. Landon played so well with the kids. He is a great older cousin and adapts well to playing with different age groups. Jared played the guitar for us and we had a fun time singing an afternoon away while he accompanied us on the guitar. He is very talented.

Wendy and her 3 boys came out to visit us August 24th to 30th. She is an amazing mom! I can not imagine having to raise 3 kids by myself but she not only does that, she does an incredible job at it! And her little boys are growing up to be great young men. It was fun getting to know each one better. I obviously did not know Chris when he was a kid but I think Quinton is a bit like he might have been in personality and looks. I got a 8 foot trampoline on kijiji for $25 and Quinton pretty much set up the whole thing with a little help from his mother. He is a smart guy. And Calvin is hilarious. And Oliver is a cute little snuggler. It was great to bond better with Wendy and I hope she knows how much I admire her.

Caeleb and Elva did swimming lessons with Sterling and Liam at the Champion pool for the week of August 22 to 26th. They did very well. Caeleb has come so far from being scared of the water and Elva is a natural little swimmer. The cousins played well together in the pool and at the farm. I believe we will do the same thing next year. Thanks to Mom and Camellia for helping with the kids that week while I watched Mary, Max and Sebastian in Calgary.

Well, the weather is turning colder (it seemed like a cool and rainy summer) and I would not be surprised if we are in for a long, cold winter (though I hope not too long or too cold). I hope we get to enjoy the Fall though before the snow comes. I love the Fall! It is my favourite time of year! The last few nights, Chris and I have been going for walks after the kids have gone to bed. The air is crisp and I love it! I also love laying down beside Chris on our new little trampoline and looking at the stars. I love that Chis loves astronomy and can talk all about the stars, planets and universe.

Caeleb starts school tomorrow. Grade one here he comes! He is going to brand new Copperfield school which is only a 10 minute beautiful walk away around the nearest pond. We will miss the Spanish immersion but this school made more sense as we only have one vehicle and our finances are tighter. (I will have to do better at using my Spanish to teach my kids Spanish). I think Caeleb is excited but I know it will take some adjusting to all day school. However, I know he will do well. And Elva starts preschool next Tuesday. We feel like she will benefit from a year of preschool so we made this a priority. She is a spirited little girl, very bright and I know she will do well if she directs some of that extra energy into learning. I am excited for her. Elva gave herself a "back to school" haircut last Saturday morning after she went through my makeup bag and found my hair scissors. I guess she felt like a mullet should be her new style. Silly little Jean bean. Chris took her  for her first professional hair cut after that but there was little they could do. But she is cute no matter what. Nathan thinks the front of her hair looks a little like Haley Mills on the old parent trap. We are continuing to watch Max this year and we enjoy having him around. Even though she will not admit it, Elva likes her friend Max and they mostly play well together. It is fun to watch their imaginations run wild.

Mary is doing well. As cute as ever. She started crawling the first week in August (a little past 10 months old). She has her 4th tooth coming in. She says Dada and Mama with meaning. She is just starting to get into drawers and cupboards and she loves to eat everything except baby cereal (and sometimes she would rather throw cheerios on the ground instead of eat them). She still loves the jolly jumper and was jumping this morning. She is starting to get up on her knees but has not stood up yet. And she loves her brother and sister and they love her. Caeleb and Elva are a great help with her. They hold her hands during diaper changes, they sing to her when she is sad (which is not often), they play with her. They are so great with her. I love my family!

Lets see what the fall brings as I prepare to go back to work. I am nervous and feel a little like the weight of the world is on my shoulders with working but Chris is a great help with the kids and I plan working hard to get back to speed on the unit. I did my CPR course on September 1st in Lethbridge and that helped me gain more confidence in going back to work. I have done this twice before (going back to work after maternity leave) and I can do it again! Life is good! Go team Watters!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Challenges in Nursing

Sometimes life doesn't make sense. But I have concluded that it is my job to try and make sense of it. I will not always succeed in this area and perhaps I need to accept that it may be years down the road, maybe even after this life ends, before I understand why everything happens the way it does. Until then I will continue to try and make sense of the experiences I go through in life.

For some time now, I have been wanting to write a little about a very challenging experience I have had in my career as a nurse. It took until this past year to open up with several close family and friends about this experience. It happened years ago, but it has affected me so much and I am still trying to make sense of what happened. I am also trying to see all the positive that has come from this experience. I believe that by writing it down, I will discover even more good that has come from this experience.

When I served my 18 month mission in Ecuador, I was assigned to be the mission nurse. I was fairly new at nursing (I had worked part time in a special care nursery/postpartum unit for 16 months beforehand), and I was put into a new and challenging situation where another nurse and I were in charge of the health of about 180 missionaries from all over North and South America. Some of these missionaries only spoke Spanish so I had to learn Spanish in order to answer their health questions over the phone. The calls were literally at all hours of the day and night and some days were overwhelming with calls and medical concerns. It was tough! We dealt with appendicitis, gallstones, parasites, kidney stones, food poisoning, fungal infections, mental illness, accidents and much much more. We sent or had the missionaries pick up medications if we felt they were necessary (you could get most medications without a prescription in that country at that time). We would make appointments for sick missionaries with Ecuadorian doctors and accompany them to these appointments. We would even consult doctors from the States if there was a particularly hard case. I survived and so did those 180 missionaries. I know that I received help from above! I can't really explain it, but I know that I was able to succeed in this challenging assignment because God helped me use the knowledge I gained in school, apply critical thinking skills and develop confidence, perseverance and a hard work ethic, to take care of those missionaries. I look back on my mission as a humbling but positive time in my life.

Then came the really humbling experience. I was a very confident nurse when I came back from my mission. It was no easy task taking care of all those missionaries but I was successful. I felt like I was used as an instrument in the Lord's hands to help those in need and I believe I saw miracles on my mission. With confidence, I applied for my dream job in nursing and was hired right away. I dove into the orientation process with optimism. I was going to be the best nurse ever! But that was not to be. To this day, I still do not fully understand what happened next. A couple of months into the job, I made a huge medical error, giving a patient 10 x the dose of morphine he was supposed to receive by programing the wrong rate into an IV pump when the patient was on a continuous morphine infusion. It was at the end of my evening shift. Another nurse co-signed with the calculation and preparation. I hung the bag. It was not caught on night shift. He ended up being okay (just very sleepy and most likely a low respiratory rate if my memory serves me right) but I was not. I was very shaken.  I was also re learning how to work as a nurse in an English speaking country after so long in a foreign country and perhaps I was struggling to cope with a loved one who had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I do not know what my problem was.  The nurse educator started following me around which made me so nervous that I would often answer questions wrong when she fired them at me. Every wrong answer or little mistake (example, I accidently charted a leg measurement wrong)  took me further into a downward spiral of shattered self confidence, more wrong answers and more little mistakes. But I did not give up. Every day I anxiously got ready for work, said a prayer and tried my hardest even though it seemed like all my co-workers were against me. And then one day, it was over. I was fired. Perhaps I should have known it was coming but I was so busy fighting to do better that it caught me by surprise. I went home that day feeling defeated, alone and scared. In my mind, my manager looked at me as though I was worthless. She did not want anything to do with me after that day even though I wanted and desperately needed support in knowing how to move forward. How was I going to provide for myself? Did I waste 4 years of my life working so hard for a nursing degree (ironically, I did very well in school)? Would I ever be able to practice nursing again? Why did God allow this to happen when I worked so hard on my Mission? I cried myself to sleep many a night during that time.

But I could not give up! There had to be a reason that I was a nurse. I had something to offer. I knew I did. So the day after being fired, not knowing where to go from there, I did some research and signed up for some nursing refresher courses. I studied so hard and with faith and courage walked into a new hospital, selected a random unit and talked to the manager about doing a preceptorship there that would allow for me to complete the clinical portion of a course I was taking. I gave it my all during that time and after my clinical was completed I was hired for a temporary position on that unit.

The story does not end there. Due to being fired from my previous job, I was subjected to a disciplinary action from the nurses registering office that I was under when working at that job. It took over two years for this to be completed and I felt like I was on pins and needles that entire time awaiting an unknown future. I had to go through an investigation process involving an interrogation meeting and I had to have a lawyer support me through a Hearing/court type experience. I was newly married at that time and was very sick as I was pregnant with our first child. My mother was such a support to me and came with me to lawyer meetings and Hearings. My husband was an amazing support to me as well and loved me no matter what happened. My new manager and charge nurse were also very supportive and even showed up at a Hearing to offer support. At those Hearings, I had to swear on a bible before being questioned and I had to listen to old co-workers testify against me. It was so horrible to hear people talk about me like I was a criminal. I felt like I was the scum of the earth. And being so sick in pregnancy, I had to hold my urges to vomit while sitting for hours listening to a room full of people talk about me while deciding my fate in nursing. I know it is not the same as some people who have gone through much worse court experiences involving car accidents or other incidents where they are to blame. At the same time, I empathize with these people as I know what it is like to feel like I am the worst person ever. I know what it is like to ache for the ability to go back in time and change the past.

There is a happy ending to this story. The case was dropped and I was free to continue nursing with no restrictions. Perhaps the case was dropped as the unit I had worked for had some flaws and could be held accountable for some of the bad experiences I had there. I remember my lawyer looking at some of the things that were said about me like they were the most ridiculous concerns. Perhaps, in a way, my quiet, sensitive nature had made me a scapegoat. I am not one to assign blame to others. In fact, a downfall of mine is taking too much blame upon myself - I tend to soak it all up.  Regardless of why the case was dropped, I count it as a huge blessing in my life that I can continue working, especially now that I am helping to provide for our family.

And so I have been left to pick up the pieces of my self confidence and put them back together. I am not yet where I hope to be but I am getting there. I know I am a good nurse and I need to remember the moments that prove that to me. Last year, during one of my last shifts before going on maternity leave, one of my patient's told me that she thought I was "a great nurse." I was gentle and kind, knowledgeable and efficient in getting all my tasks done. Most of all, that patient knew that I cared about her and truly wanted the best for her. I believe my patients know that. A sincere caring attitude makes me the successful nurse that I am today. And although I still struggle with anxiety each time I prepare to work a shift, I know that when I enter the hospital, I will focus, the anxiety with disappear and I will do my very best. Even though I am not perfect and I struggle at times, I am the nurse that I need to be and I am good enough!

As for making sense of this experience, I believe there has been much good that has come of it. I am extra careful at not making rash decisions whether it be at work or home. For example, I do a thorough job of doing medication checks and of researching new medications before I give them. I will always ask another nurse for help if I am feeling overwhelmed or if I am unsure about something. I am more sympathetic to my patients' individual experiences. I also am more sensitive to my co-workers, friends and family and all they have to deal with. If I see a co-worker struggling, I offer advice or lend a helping hand because I know how it feels to be overwhelmed. I try to be understanding and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I have more charity for those around me. I do not know what my future holds but I do know that I can let my experiences shape me for the better and I know that this experience has and will continue to help shape me into the best person that I can be.

 

Reflections on Mothering and Nursing

 

How being a Mother has made me a better Nurse

I love to write! It makes thoughts real to me and I learn more from them when I put them down on paper. While being on Maternity leave this last year, I have given my all to being a mother and caregiver (not only have I cared for my 3 children but I have also been taking care of my friend’s 2 small boys). That being said, I have not focused a lot on my nursing profession except for reading my emails from work, reading some nursing documents on the CARNA website and talking to my manager and co-workers every once in a while. Now as I get ready to go back to work in October, I need to focus on registering for nursing practice once again. In my past two maternity leaves, I completed nursing modules from Grant McEwan University. I have done several modules throughout the years and they have helped my practice in various ways. However, I did not feel right about doing that this year. My husband is going to school and having two parents studying for test deadlines is a lot for my kids to handle. Instead, I focused on being a mom and recording my mothering experiences. And you know something; being a mother has helped me so much in being a competent and confident nurse. Let me explain by talking about different aspects of nursing.

Safety: So picture this. I have gone over to my friend’s house almost every weekday this summer to watch 5 kids (kind of like being in charge of 5 patients at the hospital). The first day I went over there I immediately did my “safety rounds.” Blind strings hanging in the house went up and out of reach. Some sort of baby gate was needed for the stairs. I took down a heavy TV from its table so it could not be a danger. I talked to the kids about safety issues with furniture. Small toys (I have a 10 month old) and magnets were put in a box out of reach. Are there sharp objects within reach of the kids. Other thoughts have gone through my head repeatedly as well. How does my baby do at swallowing? Is she coughing and sputtering as she eats? Do I puree her food or is she ready for minced food? Every day while I work with the kids, I do my frequent rounds. If the older kids are playing in the basement while I make a meal, I listen for them and check on them frequently. Kids may think their parents have eyes in the back of their heads and sometimes I feel like I do. Or at least I have developed a mother’s intuition just like experienced nurses have a nursing intuition. I am always on my guard when it comes to safety. Safe proofing an environment comes quite easy to me since I have had kids. When working on a medical unit, I often deal with patients who need me to watch out for their safety as they are incapable of doing so. I feel confident and competent in this area of nursing!

Knowledge: One of my children has had quite the history of respiratory problems. With one Neonatal ICU admission and two Pediatric ICU admissions (from high flow oxygen to being on a ventilator and oscillator), many ER visits, daily medications, numerous doctor’s appointments, countless nights of worry with many hours of medical research on my part, I would have to say my knowledge in respiratory illness has definitely increased since having kids. And since respiratory illness is a focus for the medical unit I work on, I feel quite at home going to work.

Critical thinking: It could be said that I had a hand in saving my daughters life. At 18 months old, my daughter contacted a serious viral with secondary bacterial infection. She looked quite sick so I took her to Emergency. They sent us home. Her oxygen levels and heartrate were fine but she was working hard to breath and her respiratory rate was climbing. I was monitoring her vital signs at home. I took her back to Emergency. I am so glad I took her back before her heartrate was affected. She was wearing down and most likely would have required substantial resuscitation if I had not had mothers’/nurses’ intuition combined with critical thinking. As it was, she needed full respiratory support for over week. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if I had waited.

Physical strength: You know you are physically strong when you can push a stroller filled with 4 kids around the zoo, up and down hills might I add, for hours at a time. And try hiking in the mountains with a chubby baby on your back, or carrying two crying toddlers at the same time. I now have strong muscles and stamina, thanks to being a mother! And no worries, I rarely have injuries as nursing has taught me how to lift in the correct way. Lifting patients does not scare me as it used too as I am now more confident in my ability to do so.

Emotional strength and stress management: Nursing is definitely a profession that can be emotionally taxing. It is a very stressful job. I have seen many patients go through difficult things. Sickness can bring out the worst in people with no fault of their own. Sometimes patients on my unit will be aggressive or verbally abusive. Even co-workers can wear one down by their words and lack of empathy. I am a sensitive soul when it comes to emotion and stress. However, I believe that being a mother has helped strengthen me in this area. I simply can not let it get to me when my 3-year-old is tired, grumpy, saying mean things or howling at the top of her lungs for what seems like hours. I need to control my emotions. Getting upset at her will not solve the problem. She often does not know what she does. I simply find a solution (often bedtime for a tired little girl) and move on. I don’t let it effect me personally. This is something I am still working on but I am definitely improving in this area. I am learning to handle stress and control my emotions by raising my children. I am learning to let past experiences go and to move on. And I have seen this help me in my nursing career.

Strong stomach: I have a strong stomach! There is no doubt about that. And it has become stronger since having kids. I have changed thousands of diapers. I have developed the endurance to go from sick kid to sick kid for a good portion of the night, changing soiled bedding and clothes, giving baths and snuggles and then waking up a few short hours later to tackle the next day with a positive attitude. I don’t bat an eye when having to change a poopy diaper just a few minutes after changing the last one or needing to plop a little one in the bath as she is covered head to toe with her own feces. I just plug ahead and get the job done!

Time Management - planning, prioritizing: Let me take you through part of a day in my present life. I get up with the kids at around 6:30. We need to get the kids out the door and to my friends house by 7:30 to babysit. Often I get the kids clothes and baby bag ready the night before so that getting the kids ready is easier. Planning ahead certainly makes a difference when it comes getting things done on time. Who do I dress first? I need to change the baby’s diaper first thing or else I can almost be sure that she will soak through and then more time will be spent for cleanup. Prioritizing is the key! Did I put the extra car seats in the car the night before so we can all go to the zoo in the morning? You bet I did! Can we go to the store this afternoon? No, as the kids will nap in the car and then they will go to bed late which will not be good as we have another early start tomorrow. More thinking ahead. Are you getting the just of it? I am strengthening my ability to manage time which is certainly used in a successful nursing career.

Chocking: Yes, my son has chocked on something before. And yes, I did do Abdominal thrusts to get it out. Now I am more confident in my Basic Life Saving skills!

Unconditional love and caring: This has always been my best strength in nursing. This is why I chose to be a nurse in the first place. And my ability to love and care has only increased since I have had my little ones. My children do try my patience at times. Sometimes they are rough to each other and to me or say things that could hurt. But I will never stop loving them and caring for them! Thus it is with my patients. I need to have patience with my patients. And I need to forgive them and be a dedicated friend and caregiver when their illness may bring out a side in them that I do not wish to see. I will always go on loving and caring for those that I serve. It is just who I am!

When I go back to work, I will need to work very hard to strengthen the nursing skills that I have not used in a year. It will be a challenge but I know I can do it! While I will need to work hard on getting back to speed with my career, it is reassuring to know that being a mother has helped me develop more confidence and competence and has overall made me a better nurse! I feel so blessed to be a mother and a nurse.

 

 

Let It Go

We had a great time at the Selman family reunion this weekend. For Show-and-Tell Sarah prepared a video montage:

https://youtu.be/E_AKbvW75Cg

 

You can download a copy from this link.

New Adventures in Life

Well, I see that Chris just posted about his back to school adventure. Thank you Sweetheart. I don't believe I deserve all the credit that you wrote about but thank you anyways. I do believe that you can do whatever you set out to do in life!

I think Chris will be an excellent high school math/physics/computers teacher. I know that we will have ups and downs as he does full time school for the next few years. But this path feels right and as we go through the ups and downs, I pray that we will remember the answers that we have received while pondering this decision. We will have to be frugal in life (starving student phase once again) but that is something I am good at. I will go back to work in October and will keep my scheduled two shifts a week plus I hope to pick up one more shift a week on top of it. It is a bit nerve racking but I know I can do it and that it is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do and that I will be all the better for it.

For the first year Chris will do school online and it is a relief to know that he can watch the kids. I find it stressful having to find a babysitter. The next two years will most likely be at the University of Calgary. I am excited about the adventure after graduation when Chris is searching for a job. Who knows, maybe we will go to the Yukon or somewhere else remote. I will be up for anywhere. I think eventually we would like to settle in Southern Alberta. I do love to be close to family but I will make the best of wherever we go. Like I said before, I believe in Chris. He can do it!

Chris has two more days of work and then he goes full steam ahead with his online classes. His current job has seen him working many 12-14 hour days, many late nights till 2:00 am (sleep a few hours and then up again for a full day starting at 8:00 am), and working many weekends. The work with his present job never ends (hardly any breaks) and it is exhausting for him and I am glad he gets to say goodbye to it and start fresh.

Anyways, lets talk about the kids. They are doing well. Caeleb is having fun in Kindergarten. Last week he went on a field trip to the Children's Festival in downtown Calgary (I remember going to it when I was in grade 1 I believe). The other kids and I met him down there and we had fun seeing the exhibits and hearing the music. Caeleb is doing fairly well with learning Spanish at his Spanish bilingual school. But I think he will be like Chris in that Math and Science will be favourites of his. I guess time will tell. Caeleb loves "Jurassic park/world toys and games, anything Dinosaur and anything Star Wars".

Elva is still the busiest kid of the lot. At 3 and 1/2, she is full of life! She loves her Ballet class and her recital is coming up in June. We will have to stop after that due to tightening of the finances but someday she may go back to dance or we are sure to find other activities to keep her busy. She loves to go to the park, go to 7-11 for treats, play peppa pig, babies and doggies with "momma", and devour kinder surprise eggs . She loves to talk and sing and live life to the fullest. She does not like getting her hair washed or combed!

Mary is 8 months old now and about 21.5 lbs. She got her 1st tooth (bottom left front) two weeks ago and is a lot happier since it poked through (Not saying she was really unhappy, just a little "off" when cutting that tooth). She honestly is the most content child I have ever met. You just plop her on the floor with 1 toy and she will be set for an hour of quiet play. She is not moving hardly at all. She just sits there (Has been sitting very well since about 6 months) and smiles at things going past. We were talking and laughing about it today. She does not need to move because with Caeleb and Elva in the home. The entertainment comes to her (swirling and whizzing around her)!

I am watching my friend Michelle's little boy 3 days a week while she works. She buys our family gifts in return for babysitting Max till the end of the summer. She got us zoo passes and so we try to go once a week. I love to take the kids to the zoo. There is a baby gorilla there now and that is fun to see. And Caeleb loves the dinosaur exhibit. Michelle also got us a bunk bed for Caeleb and Elva and a couch for the play room. Elva and Max play pretty well together (Elva is only a couple of weeks older than Max and they have grown up together). Although they do have there fighting moments each day, Elva is pretty spoiled to have a play mate.

We are down to one vehicle again. We sold Chris' Honda civic as it was costing too much to maintain and the little extra money will come in handy to pay for school. While it has been convenient to have two vehicles, I am excited to work together as a family in living a one vehicle life style. It simplifies our life and will bring us closer together.

We are building a garage. The builders are taking there sweet little time and have been at it for 6 weeks now but hopefully it will almost be finished by the end of next week. We are excited for our little house to feel complete with a garage in the back yard.

My friend Lindsey moved in to our home for a while. It is a full house (which is one of my favourite TV shows - I watch it all the time when I am working around the house and it makes me feel happy) and I love my full house! Lindsey is a wonderful friend and aunt to the kids. They adore her just like they adore their uncle Nathan. We feel blessed to have an Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Nathan in our lives.

Well that sums up our lives right now. Hope that all my blog followers are doing well too.

 

 

 

 

Back to school

So we will be starting a new adventure soon.

I have work with computers for most of my life. I started working on computers when I was in Grade 5. I was even employed by my elementary school while attending my elementary school to tutor teachers in using their computers.

But it is time for a change.

Starting June first I am heading back to school, and I hope to remain in school for the rest of my career. I plan to become a high school math/science teacher. Effective June first I will be working on a Mathematics degree from Athabasca University. September 2017 I will start an Education degree at the University of Calgary.

All of this is possible because of Katherine. She has an amazing gift for seeing the potential in others and encouraging to reach for that potential. She gave me the confidence to me ahead and believe that I can achieve any goal that we set.

She does so much to support me. She is an amazing mother. She is the master mind that keeps everything running smoothly around our home. And of top of it all, she works hard as a nurse. She makes of the difference whenever I fall short and is better than I could ever deserve.

Mary Mary (poem by me)

Mary Mary quite contrary,

how do your teeth grow.

With drool and tears

And ouches and more tears,

Til they have popped up all in a row.

 

(Yep, we are dealing with a slightly grumpy Mary these days and chances are she is teething. But really, she is such a good baby, I can not complain).

The beginnings of a new year.

Well, I better write about how this 2016 year has been treating us. It has had a bit of a sad start. My Mom's brother, my amazing uncle Ken passed away on February 11. He was diagnosed with Melanoma about a year and a half ago and in December he started going down hill. This is the first of my Aunts and Uncles that we have lost. It has been a trying time and I hurt for my Mom and for Uncle Ken's wife Sandy and their children but I know that we will see them again. Families are forever! Uncle Ken is known for his caring heart, his service to others through his talent of building things. He was Camellia and my Harry Potter buddy. He gave us some of the books and he took us out to see some of the movies. He would take us out for supper before hand and we would have fun talking. He was so generous to us. We love our uncle Ken and it will be a great reunion in the next life when we meet again.

The Kids are doing well. Elva started Angelina Ballerina dance lessons in January on Wednesday afternoon. She Loves it! And she looks adorable in her pink leotard and tutu and mouse ears (goes with the tv show about a dancing mouse). She also looks beautiful in the little red coat that she got from Kamille with her golden curls hanging down her back.

Caeleb is liking Kindergarten. He loves to ask questions these days. Today it was "where is heaven." "What are spirits like." He loves to play games both board games and computer games.

Mary is such an adorable chubby thing. She is so good. At 5 and 1/2 months she is about 20 lbs and most of that is in her thighs and cheeks. She is so good. She will lay on the floor for up to an hour just talking to herself. She loves her jolly jumper and bumbo too as she likes to be upright. Still not rolling over but she gets on her side and she does her crunchies in trying to sit up. She has a laugh and smile to lighten up the room and she especially loves laughing and smiling at her brother.

I may add to this post but will get it posted now before I forget.

 

Christmas at the farm - 2015

It was a wonderful Christmas at the farm. Our Watters family went to the Calgary Nativity pageant on December 23rd. I tried to take the kids on the 22nd but Chris was at his work Christmas movie (Star Wars)/dinner party and when I got to Heritage park, I just couldn't get three kids into their snow gear and down the hill to the pageant by myself. It is hard to carry a baby and tired 3 year old and herd a 5 year old while keeping them all warm on a cold winters night.  I realized yet again how grateful I am for my husband. Caeleb was disappointed that we were not able to go that night so I promised we would come back the next evening and it was a good thing we did as Caeleb and Elva loved it. They were wide eyed and mesmerized the entire 15 minutes. Mary, on the other hand, joined in with the baby Jesus crying part and so I took her back to the van early. We got to the farm about 9:30 that night.

Christmas Eve day was fun. The Nelsons arrived and the kids made gingerbread houses and one haunted house (left over from Halloween).  They went outside and fed the chickens and made a snowman (well, a pile of snowman as the snow was not sticky at all). A beautiful winter day. It was a cold, snowy day which was perfect for Christmas. Nathan joined us at 5:30 and we had our Christmas Eve nativity program. We are so grateful Mary has joined us this year so that she could be our adorable baby Jesus. Caeleb was Joseph, Elva was Mary (confusing I know), Sterling was the wise man and Liam was the Shepard. Camellia and I did the music and Papa was the narrator. Oh, and Nana did a great job on the costumes. The kids were looking forward to it all day and they did a great job playing their parts. Tis the reason for the season. I hope the kids always remember what Christmas is about. And I pray they can grow close to the Savior and consider him a best friend throughout their lives. The kids went to bed about 7:30 pm and were up at 6:30 am. Santa was sure good to them this year. Maybe a little too good. I think they were overwhelmed with all the gifts (except Mary - she was a little clueless as to what was going on). Caeleb wrote Santa for Jurassic World toys and Elva asked for Paw Patrol. (They both even got letters back from Santa a few days before Christmas). Jurassic World toys and paw patrol toys were what they got. Mary got some yummy treats she can eat once she is 6 months old (she is such a good baby - that didn't even bother her at all. te he he). We were spoiled by our family members. Thanks to everyone. All the kids got some home sewed matching pajamas from Nana Smith and myself. Caeleb and Elva got some themed pajamas (elephant and paw patrol) from Grandma Watters. We ate a yummy ham dinner and cherry pie and visited and played with toys all day. I love the relaxing time of Christmas. It was nice not having to work this Christmas.

The next week was a fairly relaxed week. Chris had to work but it was definitely an easier work week. We had a few friends over for New Years Eve (Ryan, Tammy and Luke Michelson, Lindsey and Michelle) We played games with the kids and ate lots of appetizers. Lindsey and I were the only ones who made it till midnight - the movie Hook got us there after the others either went home or to bed around 1000. I took the kids to the farm on New Years day for a skating party at the Muellers (they live down the road from my parents). Caeleb and Elva tried skating for the first time. They did well but the skates were really to small for Caeleb (I need to invest in some more) and it was a chilly day. Camellia and I were in skating lessons for several years as little girls and we loved it so maybe my kids will like to skate too.

Caeleb is back to school now and is enjoying that and Elva has just started weekly Angelina Ballerina lessons. She loves to dance and I had to choose between tap and ballet (she does look a bit like Shirely Temple with her light curly hair and so she would look adorable tap dancing but I think ballet is more of a fit for this year). Elva loved her first class and got right into prancing around with the other little girls.

Mary is all grins and doubles chins. Her hair is lightening a bit but is still a darkish brown and pretty full. She loves her jolly jumper (got her started on that at about 3 months). She is happy and will lay on the floor for up to an hour just looking around. She is starting to jabber away at times but is mostly quiet and is a good baby all around. (Well, she is not that much of a consistent sleeper but neither were the other two so I am used to not much sleep).

I teach Relief Society and Chris is still the ward membership clerk. Teaching Relief Society is a challenge for me as I can get my words and thoughts jumbled up at times but I know it will teach me a lot and I have a lot of experiences and life lessons that I can share with the class. I do love my Relief Society. I feel at home there.

Life is good! I feel so richly blessed. I have several goals for 2016 but I think the one at the top of the list is to strengthen my relationship with my Savior and with my family members.

Election Results and Liberal Promises

Being a parent is difficult. One of the many challenges that parents face is trying to balance the need to earn an income while also caring for our children. The more time we spend working, the less time we can spend with our children. As parents of three small children, my wife and I have often struggled with finding the ideal balance in this area.

I recognize that in some families both parents want to work full-time. For other families, one parent might want to stay at home to focus on raising the children. I expect that many parents try to find a middle ground where working part-time can provide a balance of both. I beleive that it should not matter what a family decides is the best balance for them, the government should tax the family fairly based on how much they earn together, instead of basing the tax rate on how much one parent earns compared to the other.

Last year (2014) tax rules were changed in order to make the challenge of finding that balance little easier. It no longer matters how our income was balanced between me and Katherine. We could choose the work-childcare balance that we felt was best for our family, knowing that as a household we would be taxed fairly based on the total amount of money that we earned, and not based on who earned it.

 

One of the key Liberal platform items is to undo this change. On their website, they presented it as “Ending Unfair Tax Breaks: We will cancel Stephen Harper’s tax breaks for the wealthy, to give Canadian families more money to raise their children.” It would appear that the Liberals have completely missed the boat on what the Family Tax Credit is, and what it is supposed to do. It would appear that the NDP also missed the purpose of this tax policy as they were campaigning with a similar element in their platform.

On my way home from work on election day, I saw my local NDP representative out encouraging people to vote and so I stopped to talk with him about this issue. He was instant that income splitting was primarily a benefit to wealthy couples with no kids. He did not believe that it was a benefit that only applied to families until I looked up the page on the CRA website that explains income splitting and showed it to him. I am deeply concerned that changes to this tax policy will be made by others who are equally ignorant of its purpose and effect.

 

The purpose of the Family Tax Cut is to balance the amount of taxes paid by a household with a stay-at-home parent so that taxes are similar to those households that earn the same net income by having both parents work. If it was understood that this is the purpose of the Family Tax Cut, then the Liberal Platform would have read “Ending Family Tax Equality: We will cancel tax equity for stay-at-home parents to encourage Canadian families pay someone else to raise their children.”

The Liberal platform lists all of the people that do not, and should not, benefit from income splitting as though this was a bad thing. They completely miss the point that those people do not need an adjustment to ensure equality.

1. Income splitting delivers no benefits to working parents who earn similar salaries.

Working parents who earn similar salaries, already pay the lowest taxes for their household income. Despite having the same taxable income, a household were each parent earns $50,000 each pays substantially less tax than a household where one parent earns $80,000 and the other earns $20,000. The entire purpose of the Family Tax Cut is to ensure that all families pay the same low tax regardless of how that income is divided between parents. It shouldn't matter if the parents’ salaries are similar or dissimilar, one family should pay the same amount of tax as another family that has the same net income.

To make matters worse, the tax system is rigged to reduce the possibility of allowing parents to have similar salaries. Tax deductions for childcare must be applied to the parent with the lower income. The more a family pays for childcare, the greater the difference in taxable income will be between the parents.

2. Income splitting delivers no benefits to single parents.

Single parents benefit from income splitting through Child Support deductions. The total taxes paid by a split household where one parent earns $60,000 and gives $10,000 in Child Support to the other parent who earn $40,000 is similar to the taxes paid by a household where each parent earns $50,000. However, if those parents weren't separated and were earning $60,000/$40,000, they would pay higher taxes than they would if they were divorced and balancing their incomes through Child Support payments. It seems absurd to me that there would be a tax benefit that favours breaking families apart through divorce over keeping families together, but that is how the tax system worked prior to 2014, and that is what the Liberals are suggesting needs to be done again.

I recognize that many single parents do not receive the Child Support. I agree that special policies should be implement to assist those parents. However, implementing such policies does not require families with stay-at-home parents to pay a disproportionately large share of taxes.

3. Income splitting delivers no benefits to Canadians who do not have kids.

There is good reason that the proper title for income splitting is the Family Tax Cut. It was never intended to benefit Canadians who do not have kids. Couples that do not have children are free to work as they see fit given their situation. It is reasonable to expect that couples who do not have children should pay the same amount of tax whether they are married or not. The fact that this policy only applies to families with children prevents wealthy individuals from avoiding taxes by transferring income to a trophy-spouse.

Parents of children receive tax advantages over those who do not have children. The intent of these policies is to ensure that parents have the resources needed to raise children so that they can contribute to society. There seems to be a universal agreement that this is appropriate, as all of the political parties campaign on improving benefits for families. Income splitting is another such benefit with the specific goal of allowing parents to choose the balance between providing for their children's financial and nurturing needs as they believe will best benefit their children.

 

4. All told, income splitting benefits only about 15 percent of Canadian households.

Who is that 15 percent? If you think about it, it is obvious who is getting the benefit: they must be parents of children under the age of 18, and one parent must be earning more than the other. What is the most obvious reason for one parent to earn more than the other: because one parent is more focused on raising their children than trying to match the income of his/her spouse. Like I said earlier, ending income splitting is effectively saying “We will cancel tax equity for stay-at-home parents.”

 

Is there a group of people who could be benefiting from this tax rule more than they probably should? Possibly: Wealthy parents of teenagers where one parent earns a high income and the other earns a modest income do stand to benefit substantially from this policy.

I do not have access to the statistics to figure out what potion of the Family Tax Cut goes to families that are in that sort of situation. However, if that does account for an excessive portion of the Family Tax Cut the solution is not to abolish it. If the parents of teenagers are gaining too much benefit from the Family Tax Cut, then it could be refined by lowering the age requirement for the children; as a possible example, the Family Tax Cut could be applied to families with children 12 and under instead of children 18 and under. If wealthy families are gaining too much benefit, the 50,000 limit could be adjusted based on household or individual income so that high-income families have a shrinking transfer limit. There are countless ways that the Family Tax Cut could be tweaked to better achieve the goal of providing tax equality for stay-at-home parents.

 

In any case, I would point out that it is not necessarily a bad thing that upper-class families with teenagers benefit from this tax equality. There are key balances built into the existing system that prevent abuse of this tax credit.

First, there is a limit to how much inequality can be balanced. At most only $50,000 can be transferred between spouses. That means that a family where one parent earns $200,000 and the other earns nothing can only balance their incomes so that they pay the same taxes as a family where one parent earns $150,000 and the other earns $50,000. It does not matter how much more the higher income parent earns, the most that they can transfer is $50,000, and once a person has an income that exceeds $186,270 they cannot transfer enough to their spouse to get out of the highest tax bracket, making it irrelevant how much more they earn. An upper-class family might run into this limitation, while a middle-class family cannot.

Second, the more the lower income parent earns, the less benefit there is from the transfer. If the lower income parent’s income is more than $136,270 after the equalization is applied, then further income splitting is completely irrelevant. Both parents would end up in the highest tax bracket, so it does not matter how unequal the parents’ incomes; they would pay they same amount of tax. Therefore, income splitting cannot benefit families where both parents have high incomes. Again, this limitation only affects upper-class families.

Next, a wealthy household is likely to have more disposable income. That disposable income provides flexibility such that a wealthy household can use RRSP Contributions along with other deductions and tax strategies to reduce the difference in income between spouses. A wealthy household, is more likely to be able to balance the taxable income between each other. Low and medium income families are unlikely to have such flexibility, making the Family Tax Cut the most relevant way for them to equalize their taxable incomes and thus reduce the taxes they pay.

Remember, the Family Tax Cut (aka income splitting) is about ensuring equality so that families pay similar taxes to other families that have similar household incomes. One wealthy family shouldn't pay more taxes than another wealthy family that has the same taxable income just because they choose to have one parent stay home to raise the kids. If wealthiest families need to take on a greater share of the tax burden, then they should take it in a fair and equal manner. The tax increase should not be biased against families with a stay-at-home parent.

 

I hope that our new Liberal government can look past the fact that the long overdue equalization of our tax system made possible by the Family Tax Cut happened to be implemented by a different political party. The Liberal party has had many opportunities in the past when they could have been the ones to implement this much needed policy. They can still be the ones to fine tune it to perfection.

I fully support initiatives to decrease costs for daycare, help parents that do not receive the proper Child Support and generally benefit middle-class families. However, those initiatives should not be funded by taking an extra $2 billion a year from stay-at-home or part-time working parents.

 

To our Members of Parliament: Please don’t cancel tax equity for stay-at-home parents; please don’t cut the Family Tax Cut.